Simi Fehoko Recruiting 2014

Game Ball after breaking State Record- 24 Receiving TD's

Recruiting Simi Fehoko 2014

Today a friend asked me if the schools have talked money with us yet?  I thought this was odd but realized how most people don't have the slightest clue as to whats going on with the college football recruiting involving Simi.  So I thought today I would brag a bit (since that's what moms do) as well as educate you a bit.

NCAA rules for Division 1 Football state that Juniors may receive general correspondence through the mail starting September 1st. Coaches can reach out to him through Social Media (Twitter) and can speak directly to Simi by phone and text only if Simi calls them.  So they often ask him to call. Simi is also allowed one phone call from the coaches between April 15th and May 31st. Simi is allowed to make as many unofficial visits to the schools of interest that he desires.  While he visits these schools coaches may speak directly to him and make verbal offers.  All offers are for full ride scholarships.  This includes tuition, books, housing, food, stipend for clothing and misc. and a tutor.  Some schools stipend is more than other schools.  I don't know why that is. The schools usually have a recruiting room where they feed the boys and their families delicious food.  They charge a nominal fee and make sure you sign a form (so they don't get in trouble)  They also give each recruit 3 tickets to watch the game and most often 3 sideline tickets for the pre-game.  Football is a fun hobby but this is where it becomes a job for Simi.

V.J. Fehoko with Simi

From the first interview Simi ever did almost 9 months ago I can't say we were completely ready for all this madness but I can say we were prepared.  We definitely had a bag of tools that we were ready to use.  Simi's cousin V.J. Fehoko who played for the Utes then transferred his senior year to Texas Tech warned us about the onslaught of recruiting very early on.  While he was living in Utah he was a mentor to Simi and Jeremy and always reminded them of what was most important. (Grades)  We are very close with V.J. and he paved a pathway for our boys to follow.  It started with a customized workout tailored just for them.  Then a healthy meal plan to follow.  This included harmful substances to avoid, and the protein that was healthy.  He also helped with homework and kept reminding them that grades mattered.  He made a stretching workout and included sleep as a very vital role in their development.  He was a staple in our home.  His visits always included a tub of protein for the week, a workout in the yard, Ute gear to sport around, mock interviews and a lot of laughter and love! Most importantly V.J. taught our boys that their body is their greatest asset and they must take care of it.  Playing college ball is hard work.  He always told them it will become their JOB.

Simi is no where close to making up his mind when it comes to which school is right for him.  He continues to get mail from top ranking school from all over.  If I look through his box I would have to guess that most of these schools spend hundreds of dollars per recruit in just postage alone.  Some schools know Simi and his family members by name.  Some watch his games and highlights relentlessly because they mail him about specific plays during the game that week.  Some reach out by social media daily some not so often.  During all of this, Recruiting Scouts for these top school will call to interview Simi at least monthly if not more often.  These articles are posted all over the internet.  Some are posted on websites that are free to the public and some are private membership websites.  Simi is also frequently interviewed by the media after games.  We laugh at some of Simi's interviews, but once they come out we always do homework on what he can improve.  And trust me, this kid practices everything even his interviews.  He is getting better and will someday turn out the best interview ever!

Sideline at UCLA

This week was super fun to visit UCLA at the Rose Bowl.  You won't believe were all 92,000 people park?  The surrounding golf course is the parking lot.  Yes- the Fehoko's lost their car while there! They even gave us a map of the parking lot (I mean golf course) but it was like a rolling green maze of cars!  The hi- light was that UCLA had recruiting tickets for Jeremy too!  We all felt important while visiting!  I can say they took care of us!  Simi was able to talk with Coach Pritchard from Stanford while we were there.  It really was super fun.  The atmosphere and fans were definitely fired up.

Sideline at USC

The next day was USC.  The campus was packed full of students and fans.  We even joined the crowds in the bookstore for Thanksgiving shopping.  What really took my breath away was the Coliseum.  The pregame had a live DJ on the field, games and fun.  The Trojan came in riding a white horse and almost trampled Jeremy since he wasn't paying attention, just taking it all in.  The fans we were surrounded by were very boisterous and should really be put on the staff for USC.  They definitely tried to SELL us on USC.  One guy told Simi in a not so quite whisper, "We could really use a White Receiver!"  Simi though, "Too bad I'm not white!" And his friend told Simi super loud, "USC has everything you could want! Palm Trees and Porn Stars!"  That's when the polite African American family behind us pitched in to say, "Or CHURCH, We have CHURCH if that's what you want!"  I quickly reminded the fun loving guys next to us that I was Simi and Jeremy's MOM!  We all laughed together!  Osa Masina (one of Utah's top recruits also a BHS senior) was taking his official visit while we were there.  While my boys were standing on the sideline next to Osa, all the coaches came up to hug and greet Osa.  They then moved down the line to hug and greet Simi and Jeremy.  You could tell they all knew Osa by face but had to read Simi's name tag and then the lights came on.  Jeremy leaned over to whisper to Simi, "So how does this make you feel standing next to Osa?"  Simi replied with, "like a nobody."  Jeremy said, "Now just imagine what I feel like!"  Together they laughed out loud!

Starting September 1st of his Senior year he will be eligible to receive telephone calls from coaches once per week, take 5 official visits to the schools of his choosing which will be paid for by the college.  In home visit will start the first Sunday in December. Division 1 official signing day is typically the first week in February.  Simi has taken unofficial visits to Stanford, BYU, Utah, Utah State, UCLA, and USC.  Simi won't be making any decisions too soon.  He still has some schools to visit.  He would still like to visit Washington, Oregon, and ASU and maybe a few others.  To be honest the list changes daily!  This is an exciting time in Simi's life.  Our family consists of two older sisters both married and then Simi and Jeremy.  Simi also has many cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents and great grandparents and we all have a lot to say to Simi about where he goes and you can imagine that just makes his decision that much harder!

Simi Fehoko Huddle Junior Season

Simi Fehoko #1 WR FS Junior Season

http://www.hudl.com/athlete/2859864/highlights/207926393#

Feelings

I started this blog to keep in touch with family and friends with the happenings of our busy family.  Then I found it was therapeutic to write about some of the harder moments that life throws out.  Then I started writing for my kids.  Thinking that diaries are so 1970.  This is a great way to write down life's moments that I wanted to last for all time.  Lately, I want to vent.  For the sake of hurting others feelings I wouldn't ever do that.  But don't you have moments, days, weeks or even months where you just want to scream at people and tell them how you really feel!

Well this is one of those months.  I know the cliche' that you should never hold things in.  But what good will it really do to tell them? No matter how much people ask, the answer will always be "I'm fine" even when I'm not.  I often wonder, would I really be able to find the words to express how I'm truly feeling, "enough to make them understand?"  Because really what I want to do is convenience them I'm right.  Someone once told me, "When your angry, disappointed and frustrated at someone, do you think they really care? The only person who really cares is you."  I think about this a lot. I've learned the only person who controls how I feel is Me!  If I'm mad that no one emptied the garbage today and I'm yelling at the boys about the fact that they continued to walk by it a hundred times.  Do they care that the garbage needed to be emptied?  If I'm honest with myself the answer is, Not really.  I'm the one that it bothers.  So what do I do, I empty it.

When I was a young mom I remember feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and exhausted.  I wanted to be recognized for my labors.  Did it always come in the form of adoration I wanted?  Not really.  There have been dark moments in my life (when caring for my mom) that I turned to anti depressants.  I really can't say if they helped or not, it was such a sink hole that I felt would never end.   But I learned to voice my needs and those around me came to my rescue.  Lucky I have 4 kids to help with the rescue!   I know I must be spoiled because my cute family always picks up the slack.  If I'm sad, I'm loved.  If I'm lonely, I have company.  If I'm frustrated, they jump in to fix it.   And no matter what, I pray.  I usually pray for strength and guidance.  But lately I've felt a great need to pray for those who I have anger towards.  I'll get back to you if this helps, haven't got a big WOW yet...  But some things aren't that easily fixed.   If I'm depressed, I turn to myself and figure it out. Geez!  What powerful words...I have to figure it out myself!  True, sometimes I just don't want to figure it out myself.  I want to be loved, pampered, babied.  But when it is true, deep and hurtful I must turn to myself.  It wasn't until that brave person told me, "...do you think they really care?"  that I finally got it. I am my own keeper.  I MUST figure it out for myself!

I am powerful beyond measure because of my family.  But I am STRONG because of me!  I am the only person who controls my happiness.  I get to choose everyday how my life will play out.  I get to choose how I interact with people around me.  I choose who I tell my secrets to and what secrets I keep locked inside.

This weeks blog is again therapeutic, I feel like I just told the world how I really feel.  And today I don't feel  particularly happy with everyone.  But today I am figuring it out!

Laugh a Little

When was the last time you really laughed?  Not just a giggle or a little laugh from a good joke but gut wrenching, pee your pants laugh...

At 44 years old it seems like these types of laughs are hard to come by.  It's not that I'm sad or anything, its just that nothing really makes me laugh uncontrollably anymore.  Maybe its because of fear that I don't laugh like this anymore.  To be completely honest  I'm worried that I will wet my pants! Or maybe it's old age, am I too mature for a good loud outrageous laugh?

I've been putting a lot of though into the laughing business.  When I was a teenager I laughed till my belly ached almost all the time.  I mean seriously, everything was funny back then!  When I was in my twenties I'm pretty sure I laughed like this- well at least I think so?  In my thirties I'm certain that I laughed like this at least a few times...  But i just can't remember it!  I feel like if it was that funny I would definitely remember it!  I should be able to recall an episode like this with great detail, especially if it was so funny that I couldn't contain myself.

What is wrong with me people?  Should I blame it on memory loss, early onset Alzheimer's, maturity, WHAT?  My Grandma who is a dear old 83 say's she has the disease CRS (can't remember shit).  Is this syndrome hereditary?  I really should be able to remember these precious moments!  Where have they gone?

I now know why so many people encourage keeping a journal.  It would have been so easy for me to look back and recall a joyful, pants wetting memory if I had just written a few of them down!  UGGH!  I'm so frustrated and disappointed with myself!

So here is one for the books... Yesterday I was giving my pregnant daughter a deep gorgeous spray tan in my master shower.  I know, your wondering why my half poly kid needs a spray tan- right?  Well doesn't that just get you giggling already?  She's standing there naked while I'm spraying away and just when you think the spray is the perfect mist it starts sending out splotches of dark, really dark brown everywhere to give her a deep golden speckled look.  It's was looking kinda cheetah like.  hahah  She's clearly upset but I get to laughing at her!  My giggles start to roll into laughs and the next thing you know tears are filling my eyes, she's now laughing probably at the site of me, tears start to roll down my cheeks and my pants become soaked!   The laughing becomes uncontrollable and I 'm on my knees trying to suck in some air.   She is laughing too.  Probably not as much as I am-lets face it I was laughing at her.  But she was laughing none the less.  She was probably hurting because shes pregnant and laughing way to hard in her condition.  Plus it probably wasn't as funny to her, or maybe it was, I'm sure I looked a mess sitting there on the rug with wet pants trying to breath.  In the end, the speckled spray tan didn't look so bad  it all kinda blended in.  But the bottom of her feet are black because I kept having her move around so I could get the best spraying angles.  Clearly I'm an amateur when it comes to spray tans.  LOL  But this is one of those joyful memories I want to freeze in time.  Mother and Daughter laughing uncontrollably at each other.  I hope I get a few more of these before I die.  It was the best 5 or so minutes ever!

Laugh my friends!

Happy Anniversary

It seems like August is the time of year for weddings and anniversaries.  August 4th marks my 24th wedding anniversary.  It seems like yesterday that our friends and family celebrated our special day. Funny thing is it wasn't the dream wedding that everyone thought it was.

The drama began months before our special day.  Simon and I were just finishing up our last semester at Dixie College and heading home.  Once we were home Simon and I found out I was pregnant.  My parents were invited to Simon's home for a dinner of Polynesian food.  His parents were gracious and hospitable. The wedding plans were started that night and the decision was made to serve Polynesian food at the reception.  Simon's parents were in charge of it all.  Decorations, food, MC, band etc...

My husband and I had asked my bishop to marry us.  He accepted and put the date on his calendar.  I was really excited about this for many reasons.  He spoke English, and it was really the only thing I felt truly in charge of.  He explained to me what he would be saying and interviewed me about our courtship. I knew he would do a good job!  We had three months of planning and preparation ahead of us.   The bishop of my husbands Tongan ward requested a meeting with the two of us since we were getting married in his building.  Now, I full expected this meeting to go great.  Everyone thus far was super supportive of our upcoming wedding.

I remember being asked to enter his office and the battery of questions began.  He asked why we were waiting for 3 months to get married.  I tried to explain that it would take that much time to prepare for a wedding of this magnitude.  I couldn't believe my ears when this bishop told us to hurry up and get married that week.  For those of you who know me, I speak whats on my mind.  I interrupted and said we didn't have a place to live.  He snapped right back at me with the response, "You can live under a tree in the park!" I was so taken back..  He clearly didn't realize I was a white born and breed, spoiled American and there was no way I would be living in a park!  I was totally dumbfounded and deeply offended.  This whole time Simon just sat there looking at his hands and never uttering a word.  It was years later that I understood the Polynesian cultural of "Respecting your Elders and those in Authority".  I left this meeting in tears and Simon was trying to console me by saying, everything will be ok.  I was mad that Simon didn't stick up for us. A few days later Simon informed me that his bishop would not allow my bishop to preside over the wedding since it was "HIS" building.  When I found out I sat in my walk in closet and cried for hours by myself.  I still think this was rather pompous!  I'm still salty after 24 years.

My dad paid for our wedding.  He never questioned the amount Simon's parents asked for and just kept writing checks.  I love my dad for this!  The only thing I remember my parents fighting over was the amount of money my mother spent on her own dress.  My dad had good reason for this, her dress cost more than my wedding dress.

The night before our wedding Simon brought over blankets and mats with his parents, in the traditional Tongan style.  They were beautiful!  Simon also brought his belongings to my parents home.  It was a small green ratty carry-on suitcase.  That was everything he owned.  I asked him if he wanted to stay and hang out, he said he had a lot of cooking to do with the fam.

The next morning my little brother had an early soccer game.  My dad came home laughing and told me that one of the boys on the team went to a bachelor party the night before.  The party was for some guy named Simon.  Was this just a coincidence?  I think not!  I called Simon hurt and crying that he lied to me about the night before.  I honestly can't even remember his lame excuse!  But believe me it was lame!  I told Simon he would be waiting a long time because I was NOT coming to the wedding!

My Aunt Aneta was in town for my wedding and she was the only person in my home at the time really centered in love and Christ.  She asked to pray with me that morning.  I am so grateful she did this because I really needed it!  It definitely calmed me down a bit, but again, I was pregnant and I was close to loosing my cool!

I was trying to stand my ground and "Show Him".  Maybe show Simon or his bishop or whoever else got in my way.  Ultimately my dad forced me to get in the car.  We were fashionably late.  Simon said he was really worried.  Good!  I hope he was!!

The whole reception was Polynesian.  I wore the traditional dress like I was told, I ate the cake that was made by Simon's Aunty in California.  We had a table full of cakes.  This needs mentioning because it was fruit cake and hard as a rock as it traveled for days to make it to the wedding.  I smiled graciously and tried my best to swallow it.  When I was dancing on the stage I was told to stop dancing because of my condition.

What topped the night off was; I left my purse with my wedding dress in the bathroom when I changed into the Tongan traditional clothing.  When I changed out of it to the dress I was leaving in I cleaned up everything got in my purse and my only $20 bucks was stolen!  Who steals from the BRIDE and leaves her broke on her wedding day?  We did make some money with all the "fakapale" going on.  So I think they stole the money out of my purse to give it back to me while I was dancing!  uggh! Annoying!

I'm sure glad our wedding wasn't a foreshadowing of things to come or we would have never made it! Some things have never changed.  Simon is still quietly respectful of his elders and authority.  When he lies he still has Lame excuses and I still never remember them.  When I'm super upset I still cry in my walk-in closet but Simon always come in and pulls me out and he still says, "everything will be ok!"  The thing is- now He always stays to hang out and everything always turns out to be ok!

Growing Up and Moving Out

When your kids move away to go to school you should be warned that from that moment on things will never be the same.  Kids go to school to get an education but accomplish much more than that.  Independence is the greatest accomplishment.  They learn to survive on their own, budget money, figure out life's mishaps, get sick and take care of themselves, learn to cook food that they like, do laundry, buy tires, etc...

My daughter moved away 2.5 years ago.  I cried because I was told things would change drastically.  I missed her like crazy, but our relationship flourished with phone calls everyday and advice that she was willing to listen to.  Living on an island 3500 miles away from home makes it virtually impossible for a visit.  There was no coming home to do laundry on the weekends or Sunday dinners to catch up on the weekly events.  Our relationship consisted of Skype calls with poor connections and planned phone calls that were 4 hours different in time zones.  My girl quickly made friends with kids in the same situation, made them her family and eventually she married the love of her life.

Her and her husband just left Utah after a month long visit to finish school.  They are on the tail end of there education and will graduate in April 2015.  While they were here we did so many fun things.  There were big events like a family vacation to Vegas and a girls trip to Zermatt.  But what I hold so close to my heart were the little things that never went unnoticed while she was here.  Sitting on the couch with my head on her feet while we watched TV, or the way she leaves the bathroom door open to talk, the hug or the squeeze of her hand, the smell of her hair, how she carried my water bottle into the gym for me, her constant complaints, her dirty dishes in the sink, the help while putting away groceries, making dinner together, the acts of kindness towards her siblings, the service my front yard needed so badly.

Why are my feelings so intense when she leaves?  Why does my heart ache and I can't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks?  Our family bond is so very powerful.  I think its the same for most people.  Family means everything.  Our nephew taught us the motto FOE (Family Over Everything) and isn't it the truth? Nothing in this world can replace the most precious gifts in your life as those who belong to you.  Humans are meant to be together, they are not meant to be separated from those that they love most dearly. Unfortunately, we forget so quickly how powerful and strong we are together.  We take for granted the closeness and time we have to share.  When someone is separated for a fair amount of time it reminds us of that need to be together once more.

The Fehoko's had a powerful month together and we were reminded of our eternal love and blessings that we fulfill for each other when we are together.  This week, hug those around you, squeeze your teenagers hand, kiss your spouse, tell your family how much you love them, giggle with your kids.  Be grateful you are together and be strong for one another.  Always be mindful that they won't be around forever and then things will never be the same again!

Love for Home

When you get off the plane to a vacation spot everything is magnified.  The colors, sounds, smells, and people all look so magnificent.  I especially love going to Hawaii.  The minute I step off the plane the air is warm and moist, the colors all seem brighter, and I can smell the flowers while walking down the outdoor corridor of the airport.  The people are all so friendly and smiling.  Everyone drives slower thus making me notice all the small things.  Maybe its the fact that I am on vacation, my watch doesn't mean anything to me and I can do whatever pleases me.  And it pleases me to enjoy the sights.  Even when I walk into the local Foodtown I notice the birds chirping.  Why is it that every place seems better than my own home?

I am lucky to have all my kids and their spouses home for a few weeks.  As I was planning for their arrival I started meal planning and picking all the hot spots to visit while they are here.  Funny, when you are trying to show off your home town all the places you take for granted all of a sudden become so important.  Today I took some time looking at all the mundane places I go everyday through the eyes of a visitor.

This morning I left for work at 6:30 am.  As I drove out of my neighborhood and headed east the sun was just peaking out over the mountain top.  This sunrise was nothing special because I see it almost every Friday.  The difference today was that I noticed it.  Really noticed it, like I notice the sunrise on vacation in Hawaii.   It was fascinating.  Sun rays blaring through the sky above the mountaintops. Looked like it was on fire with light.   This amazing view should be noticed by me more often.  I really should have taken the time to take a picture.

Harris and Jaden arrived home from Hawaii and the first thing they did was take in a deep breath and say "ahhh smells like America!"  Now I ask you, what exactly does America smell like?  In my home I smell a mixture of lingering scented candles, Downy and Febreze plug ins with a little undertone of dog and cat and sweaty boys.  Usually I don't notice this smell and often times wonder if my house smells funky to strangers.  But this smell is home to me.  I stuck my nose in a candle today to see if it still smells.  I think I am just used to the smell now because it didn't smell very strong.  I've decided this smell makes me happy.

I went to the grocery store across the street from my home today.  The birds that were housed in the overhang of the store were chirping so loud.  I don't think I have ever noticed this before.  But today I thought...  "Geez just like in Hawaii!" When I checked out the cashier was so friendly I felt like tipping her.  Is that inappropriate?  I actually knew a few of the bag boys and had a little conversation with them before I left.  I don't think I have ever stopped to think how lucky I am to have a nice local store within walking distance of my home with friendly people that I've know for years. 

Simi arrived home tonight after being away on a basketball tournament for a week.  I hopped in the car rolled the windows down put on my sunglasses and turned up the stereo.  I was in Simon's car so the Polynesian music with a hint of reggae was drumming out of the speakers.  I drove up to the high school with the warm air, music and beautiful mountains in my view.  My heart leaped a little, just like it does when I am on vacation.  I didn't have a care in the world, the sun was shinning the music was loud the view was breathtaking and the air smelled good!

My lawn is green with a row of weeds down one side that I can't seem to get rid of.  The enormous tree in my front yard needs to be trimmed and my flower beds are sparse.  My driveway is cracked and falling apart.  But everything is green and lush and it smells like home.  This evening I sat on my back porch and enjoyed the warm breeze and the sun shinning on my face.  I learned a great lesson today by opening up my heart and mind to my surroundings.With gratitude I thanked the Lord for the beautiful place I live in and the people I am surrounded by to enjoy it with.  I am truly blessed.

Have a lovely weekend peeps!

She Loves YOU the Most

18 months ago a very insightful therapist told me, "Do you know why she treats you so badly?" Since tears were running down my cheeks, I just shook my head back and forth in the typical "No" in response to the question. He replied, "Because she loves YOU the most."  That statement has stuck with me and frequents my thoughts on more occasions than most.

I often times think back on all the cruel harsh words that were said the battles that were never won and the tearful nights praying for my daughter.  Then those words come back to me, "She loves you the most" and I smile.

We mothers have such a thankless job. We are one of the only consistent most influential people in our children's lives.  I encourage you to never compromise your beliefs, values, integrity, or love when it comes to your children.   These are the unseen actions and unspoken words of a mother that never get noticed.  We should love our children no matter what they dish out to us.  Sometimes we are broken and imagine we can't possibly go on.  That's when I want to say to you my friends, "Its because they love you the most!"

Love isn't earned it's given freely.  When we love unconditionally, when our children are the ugliest to love, that's when I testify that miracles will abound.  Some miracles will be so small that you could possible miss them if you aren't paying attention. Open your heart and mind to the limitless possibilities of those words, "they love YOU the most!"

Sometimes I joke that I can hardly stand my kids while on earth why would I want to spend eternity with them?  Don't we all have those days?  But truly, I can't bare the thought of not being with my family for eternity.  Everyone holds there own beliefs.  These are the things that keep us going, right?  I am a supporter of individuality and would never want to offend my friends with my beliefs nor would I ever want someone to try and convenience me that my beliefs are wrong.  For me- I believe there is only one power on this earth that can bind families for the eternities.  I believe that this promise to seal families together can only be performed in the temple of our God by the proper authority.  This belief keeps me going.  It is what makes me treat my children with respect and love in all that I do.  It also make me stronger/firmer with my kids when I need to be.  Whether this is true for you or not, it's true for me. I am grateful for those who respect me enough to let me enjoy this life with my hopes, desires and beliefs.

 Life is often times so painful.  Trust me I've been there, done that and in my lifetime will probably do it again.  Just typing that brings tears to my eyes.  Why do we keep trying?  Why do we keep forgiving?  Why do we keep praying?   I'm pretty sure the reason is, "WE LOVE THEM the MOST!

This week is Falisha's celebration of 18 months clean and sober!  18 months WOW!  Something to be super proud of.   Who are you kidding?  I'm her MOM.  I always knew she could do it- because, "I Loved HER the MOST!" when I could have given up.

xoxo- to those 4 precious people I Love the MOST!

My Mother

This weeks blog is dedicated to my Mother.  

Shelley Joette Anderson 1951-2009

My mother was an only child and her parents divorced when she was in the third grade.  She used to tell me stories how she would come home from school and play/watch herself until her parents would get home from work.  I guess no one thought this was strange for a young child to be alone for hours on end back in those days?  The friends that she made, she kept.  She was extremely loyal.  She married my father in 1969 and I was born in 1970.

My memories of childhood with my mom are precious.  My earliest memory is around 4 years old.  She was in the family room with curlers in her hair sitting on the floor with my baby brother.  She told me that the Mole Men wanted to play with me.  I promptly hid my eyes and I heard a rubber bouncy ball ricochet off the walls in the room.  I would then proceed to find the bouncy ball that the Mole Men were hiding.  Your probably wondering why "Mole Men" were playing with me and not fairies and princesses?  Well, that's because my mom was a horror movie lover!  I can remember watching Rosemary's Baby in black and white, Werewolf in London, Exorcist and many more, cuddled up on the couch with popcorn popped on the stove-top and my Mommy.  My favorite time was story time.  Everyday she would roll up her hair with curlers and I would sit on the toilet listening to her crazy scary stories.  "The Thump and Whistler", "The Golden Ball" (starring the King of the Mole Men) etc...  It's a wonder why I never had nightmares?

In elementary when little girls were out with their lemonade stands, I was charging kids to come see my Museum.  I had rocks, gemstones, Indian moccasins, pottery, etc..  Most things were given to me by my Grandfather Glenn Anderson. (My Mom's Dad)  My mom was so helpful.  She helped set up and organize the museum, helped me make invitations to pass out.  She was very much a part of my Museum day!  Then when I went into business selling worms, she was the one to pick them out and put them in a cup to buyers while I was away at school. An what about my parties?  Birthday party- no problem!  Cakes that would put any baker out of business.  I had the most elaborate cakes in the neighborhood!  And you would never dream of coming to my party and not play games!  She would have game after game with prizes for my friends!  Bubblegum unwrapping with socks and blowing bubbles was one of my all time favorites.  She also did beans on a knife and dropping them into mason jars, and what about passing oranges under your chin to your neighbor?  All extremely fun party games!  Every year we hosted a huge and I mean HUGE out of school party!  She orchestrated the entire event.  Handmade invitations went out to all the neighborhood kids with food assignments.  There were backyard games, food, and you won't believe this?  Everyone got to sleepover!  Boys and girls would bring their sleeping bags and everyone would sleep under the stars in my backyard!  This was a big success and made me very popular with all the neighborhood kids.  Everyone wanted an invite to this event and I can assure you no one was left out!  She always included everyone!

The year I turned 16 things started getting weird with my Mom.  Her mother died in February and her dad died in July I think?  She became increasingly depressed.  She quit her job as a teaching assistant in a local elementary.  She slept more frequently and the parties pretty much all but stopped.  The last one I remember was a makeup party to teach all my friends about putting on makeup.

By the time I got married, she was in bad shape.  There were days she wouldn't get out of bed at all.  I wrote a paper in college about my mom and how worried I was about her deep dark depression.  My dad made her read it.  She hardly acknowledged it.

My parents got divorced when my brother graduated high school.  This was a planned event on her part and we all knew it was coming for months.  Jeremy (my brother) graduated and lived with me and Simon for a time.

My Mom baby sat Falisha for one year.  At the end I would come home and find bumps and bruises on Falisha's where she went down the stairs in her walker, or off a step outside.  She loved Falisha and was a super proud Grandma but she just started not being able to watch a quickly growing toddler and the activity that Falisha required.

Things went from weird to strange and bizarre in a matter of a few years.  She went through a few marriages one to her estranged felon 2nd cousin. That's when Jeremy and I took matters into our own hands.

We lied to her to get her to go in to have a neurological DNA test done for Huntington's Disease.  We could practically manipulate her to do just about anything by now.  She was tested positive for Huntington's Disease and we promptly got custody of her through a court order.

Two weeks after Simi was born my Mom moved into my home.  We cared for her for 4 years.  Her mental and physical state diminished to the point that we decided to put her in a full time care facility.  She died 6 years later at the age of 57 with my brother and I holding her hands.

I'm so sad that my kids didn't get to know the Mom I did.  She was truly one of the greatest parts of my life!  She taught me so much about, love, loyalty, friendship, caring, patience and having fun! She was such an awesome person!  She inspired me to be the person I am today.  I believe she has watched over and protected my kids in times of great need.  Sometimes out of the blue I feel her near me.  I whisper to her in my prayers and tell her I miss her and Love her so very much.  She lives on inside me!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!  I Love you!

Simi Fehoko Sophmore Highlights Brighton High School

Simi Fehoko Interview 4/2014

Simi Fehoko Is Standing Out Early

Simi Fehoko Is Standing Out Early: After a great sophomore year the Brighton (Salt Lake City) standout is seeing his recruiting pick up this Spring

Memory Drawer

I just cleaned out my drawer.  The one by the phone or where the phone used to be when we had phones in our home.  You know the drawer, because everyone has one.  The infamous DRAWER!  This drawer holds the bills that still come to the house on paper.  The drawer with all the kids Id's that came home free with school pictures (just in case your kid gets kidnapped ID).  The drawer with all the extra keys to your house.  The drawer with all the reward cards and coupons you were going to use 3 months ago.  I even found a few pieces of broken jewelry that I was going to glue back together.  (I'm pretty sure that was 2 years ago)

It doesn't matter how often I clean this drawer out it always seems to pile back up.  Every time I clean it out I notoriously keep a few things.  Like the jewelery I am for sure going to fix.  I tried to weed out the reward cards.  I just couldn't part with my Betos card, Yogurt Stop, Beans N Brew, Shopko, Cafe Rio, Mikado,  Myotheraphy, Gold Nugget, Peppermill etc...  The worst part about these reward cards is that they are in my DRAWER.  When I arrive at one of these places I end up asking for a new one so I can combine points.  I can't remember the phone number I used to sign up originally so all is lost and a new card is acquired.  Mercy ME!  I'm pretty dang sure the only reward card I have ever been rewarded for is Cafe Rio.  And that's only because when I take my whole family one time the next one is free so I can use it twice in one week!  I usually just forget I have one!

I think my memory is like my DRAWER.  The older I get I find myself shoving things into my mind and forgetting they are there.  I don't particularly shove the unpleasant things deep in that hidden spot of my mind.  It isn't even my favorite things that I want to remember.  It's all the stuff I have no where else to put.  At 44 years old my mind is full people!  Quit asking me to remember silly things!  Like my kids Dr. appointments, to fill up the gas tank in my car, where I put my keys, if I fed the animals today, what day of the week it is, or what your Name is!  I know your my friend and that I really like you and that should be enough right?  If you please-  Just gently remind me without drawing too much attention to the situation.  I might remember your name the next time, but I wouldn't be surprised if I get it lost in that deep hidden spot again.

The problem is, I can't quite get up the gusto to clean out this drawer in my mind.  It is way overflowing with mementos and just like my Cafe Rio card its a drawer that keeps rewarding me every time I open it!  I just couldn't bare to part with one single solitary moment thus far.  So Friends, Please be kind on me and my age.  I fear it is only going to get worse.  Just remember when I can't remember your name, its because I have a fond memory of you and me and I can't bare to give it up to make room for your name!  LOL

Make some memories this week!  -Tiff

Jer is going under the knife

Today my youngest went in for surgery. This wasn't expected to be major surgery, but as with everything there are risks evolved.

We had a friendly anesthesiologist, who like most young educated individuals, was quick to answer all our questions with long winded explanations.  Jer was most excited to meet him. In fact he told me in confidence that when he grew up he wanted to do his job since he heard they make bank!!  So when he walked in and introduced himself, Jer giggled A little and told him what was on his mind.  To my total surprise he started in on his long winded explanation about his enormous school debt equaling a house payment and the new government insurance that pays a quarter of what private insurance pays.  He then expressed his desire to get his MBA because that is where the real money is made.

This conversation soon enough changed topics to a more somber subject.  He then went through all the risks of surgery. I was a bit shocked that death was brought up. I felt like saying.... Hey stop, your freaking me out let alone scaring my son.  After our brief discussion on risks- it was brief since we learned not to ask questions or suffer the wrath of long winded explanations totally foreign since they were in non- laymen terms! It was nearing the end of our chat. Bed rests were being lifted, IV's being secured and this anesthesiologist says, "now is the time to give your mom a big hug and kiss."  I replied, "we'll he isn't a big fan of that stuff anymore. He's not my little boy anymore." He replies with..."Well I lost my mom suddenly 6 yrs ago. You never know when you'll regret it."  This is being said all they while he is starting to push Jer's bed out of the room! My mind is buzzing and the adrenalin is now coursing through my veins...  All I did was rub Jer's arm and say "we'll that's not happening today!  Love you Jer!" Jer just smiled at me as they wheeled him off.

Now fast forward to my relief- Jer is out and I am waiting to be taken back to my slowly rousing young man.  I wonder if I should be surprised that he's alive.   For a minute I was regretting not kissing him before surgery. But I snuck one in while he was still asleep!

Jer just woke up and told me the worst part of the day was the IV.  He also said with great joy, "I didn't die today, I love  you Mom!" That's right Jer!

Thanks to our anesthesiologist- Jer will probably go after an MBA since it will never cost him a home mortgage load of debt! I'm sitting here silently cheering on the inside!  Small and large miracles happen everyday when you choose to see them! We Fehokos are blessed!

Simi Fehoko 3/16 7 on 7 Las Vegas

ME & HIM

Just got home from a 4 day vacation with the family.  My newly married daughter Falisha came along.  She was reading a book by Dr. Laura called "The Care and Feeding of Husbands".  I mentioned that I would like to read it, so while she was napping I grabbed it and got to it.

As I started to read, I thought to myself, "After 23 years of marriage this book can't teach me a thing!"  Ha- Well after a few chapters in- I was pleasantly surprised that I was right!  It didn't teach me anything I didn't already know.  What it did do, was give me a quick kick in the butt!  It was a shocking reminder of the day to day rhythm we have moved into.  The routine as you will.  The get the kids to where they need to go with no quick kiss or even a have a good day.  I'm sitting here just thinking- great... I gotta mix it up a bit, put my husband first again.  Is that resentment I'm feeling?  I was thinking our life was pretty good.  But after a few chapters in, I'm rethinking that.  Geez, and I'm feeling a bit foolish to be honest.  I wonder, isn't this the cycle of marriage and kids?  Fall in love, fall into a routine and live happily ever after?  Apparently not!  This marriage stuff takes WORK. It's a full time job.  I was just getting settled into this job.  Get the kids all grown up and slide into MYSELF.  Time for ME!  Well- didn't this book fall into my hands at just the right time?  I've gotta get the hubby all buttered up for the next faze of life..."ME and HIM".  The most important thing I read this week was "Women seem not to understand or underestimate the profound power they have over their husbands."  I forgot all about this!  I totally have the upper hand for my divine plan for "ME and HIM".  I will get exactly what I want if I play my cards right.

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99

This is what I was reminded of this week, from Dr. Laura:
1. Say "I love you" often and show it even more often. Hug, kiss, and hold hands.
2. Say "Thank you" for the things he does for you. Anywhere he takes you. Any gifts he gives you.
Any money he gives you - even if it's bill money. Show gratitude by saying thank you and acknowledging his effort.
4. Be kind and sweet. Never cut him down in front of people especially your children.
5. Think the best of him. Speak the best about him to others.
6. Allow him to do his job - Lead, Provide and Protect you in the best way he knows how.
7. Love him more than you love your children. Don't put your children in front of him in your life.
8. Stand by him when he disciplines your children.
9. Go to him for strength and let him come to you for comfort.

As you can see, I'm gonna be really super busy for the next little while!  I've got to get a head start on a clean house, a yummy meal and a kiss at the door from his good looking wife!  After all, my divine plan for Me and HIM just wouldn't be the same without HIM!  If you see him smiling this week and his step a bit lighter- don't thank me, thank Dr. Laura!

Love of FOOD

If you didn't already know by now- well let me tell you- Polynesians love food!  This meant I needed to learn how to cook well and get the proportions down to a science.  It would be an insult if we ran out of food during a family bbq!  I've learned that Clam Chowder and salads won't do.  One time Simon's dad  asked, "Where's the meat?"  Prompting a quick run to KFC.  Thus, I mastered the cooking and the supply rather quickly.   We have meat with every meal, and a lot of it.  This goes along with rice, fruit and more rice.  Having friends and family with an unending supply of food is nostalgic for me.  I'm so lucky I had a good example growing up.

My love for good food shared with friends and family started in my childhood.  My mom was an extremely great cook but didn't know the concept of small batches.  Everything was made in ginormous quantities.  With a small family of four a lot of food went to waste.  Growing up, food at my house meant good times, good company and an unending supply!  I fondly remember having my grandparents over one Sunday afternoon.  My mother made banana splits.  She brought out a plethora of toppings, flavors and fixings.  It was better than any Baskin Robbins on the planet!  Her supply of food and food options where nothing short of a buffet for every meal! 

Simon used to travel a ton for business.  Through out the years I have tagged along for extended business trips.   It's a funny thing being married for so long.  Your loves become those of your partner and vice versa.  Our vacations have become a sort of Man vs. Food adventure.  If any of you have vacationed with us you know this to be true.  We do our research and find great food flares, gorging our selves to the point of elation. Most of the places we've visited we return to on subsequent visits but there are a few that we'd like to forget.  My stomach wasn't born in Tonga.  It's weaker and can't hold as much.  But to give my stomach some credit it has only put a real damper on one extended business trip.

New Orleans a week before Mardi Gras is indeed a spectacle!  The weekend before Simon's business conference we traveled together to discover Bourbon Street.  I was excited to dance my way down the street enjoying different genres of music in neighboring pubs.  The first night upon arrival we ventured out.  The evening was strange.  Strange in a way that made you a bit confused.  People from all walks of life turned into costume clad crazies.  I felt out of sorts like a peeping tom, spying on or sitting on the fringe of insanity while walking down the street.  It felt like a dream or a movie and I was an extra.  We stopped in a pub and I ate my first oysters on a half shell, washed it down with a  good old fashioned sweet tea and headed back out.  After dinner, we were more courageous and poped in one club after another.  The music was loud, live and well worth it!  We danced forever and then made our way back to the hotel.

The next day the #1 priority was to eat a Beignet at Cafe Du Monde and a Muffuletta Sandwich anywhere they were served.  Breakfast was a hit.  Of course we didn't just eat one Beignet, but an entire bag!  They were delicious and melted in your mouth.  We did some sight seeing and then found a "Muff" sandwich, which the locals so lovingly have nicknamed.  We shared a traditional style Muff, large, round, and somewhat flattened loaf with a sturdy texture, around 10 inches across and covered with layers of marinated olive salad, mordella salami, mozzarella, ham and provolone.  Upon our return to the hotel, my stomach was a bit queasy.  I took some pepto and laid down for a nap.  We woke up to the throngs of loud music and fun radiating from Bourbon Street!  I couldn't wait to go out and squeeze into the culture for a second night.  My weakened stomach was not about to stop me.  We dressed and skipped out and entered Bourbon.  I no sooner put two steps on the sidewalk and I ran over to the gutter and knelled down to vomit.  As I was retching my guts out- the Muff sandwich not agreeing with me, I vaguely heard passerby's with comments of educated sympathy, offering my husband pity for his drunk companion.  No one came to my rescue that night with a rub on the back or to hold my hair from my face.  I stood up whipped the tears from my eyes and the spittle from my mouth turned around and said to my husband, "Why didn't you take a picture? I just puked my guts up on Bourbon street!"  He couldn't hold in the laughter and said, "Hun, you fit right in with the locals tonight.  Everyone thinks your a drunk!" We giggled together, our steps light, held hands and wound our way down the street with the costume clad crazies that night.   I think it's safe to say to all my friends and family, Don't eat a Muff sandwich- it's just not safe! :)

This week we are headed to Vegas.  We will frequent the deep fried Twinkies and Oreos on Freemont Street and maybe our friend Johnny will find us a new place to try?  I'll pack the pepto just in case!

I am a MOM

The question this week is, What to write about?  Sometimes I feel like all of my secrets are already told, that what I have to say is done, my story is complete.  People know who I am and what I stand for.  I have told the world who I am and made my mark.  Others would argue that I'm still young I have many more stories to tell, so much more to give the world and so many more adventures to have.  I might agree.

Last week Simon and I drove down to St. George for a much needed vaca from the rigors of life.  On the way down I was in contact with my college roommate, Molly.  We were planning a lunch date.  Along the drive I started thinking about all the fun adventures Molly and I had.  It was like a picture book in my mind, flashing through all the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly behavior we college kids like to strum up.  A thought came to me that Molly knew me like no one else on this earth.  She knows the care free, non responsible, lie to your employer to skip a day of work kind of Tiffany.  She knows the sneak a boy in your room, stay up all night, party a little, do a little homework and spend all of your hard earned money in Vegas kind off Tiffany.  I thought to myself, I want Molly to speak at my funeral, she really knows me.

During lunch I mentioned this to Molly.  I didn't want to sound morbid, but tried to explain it the best I could.  Molly's reply was, "but I don't know you as a Mom".  There was a long period of time when we lost touch because lets face it, being a Mom is down right hard work.  We don't have much time for friends, let alone yourself.

This got me thinking of all the Tiffany's I've been.  The kid, the college student, the wife, the mom, the employee, the employer, the CFFO (chief Fehoko financial officer), the disciplinary, the crazy, the humble, the repentant, the meek, the forgiving, the obnoxious, the depressed, the caregiver, the loud, the FUN, the adventurous and the list goes on.   With all of these Tiff's running around it's a no wonder why I sometimes feel like I'm lost.

By far my favorite Tiff is Mom.  That's the one "Tiff" that I feel most alive.  I have to admit that sometimes I feel lost in this Tiff.  I find myself floundering at times and at other times I'm just plain drowning.  Somehow I always find my way to the shore.  Usually, I'm standing there by myself and wiping off the tears of failure, but knowing deep down inside I must keep working!  I think I'm pretty darn good at it.  Sure I make mistakes, sure I don't do it like everyone else, but in the end, it's my JOB- and no one else will do it for me.

I've officially been a Mom longer than any other "Tiff"  Most people don't even notice it.  We are all so caught up with our age that we fail to notice the significance. When the clock tips and you have more years of being a mom than any other time in your life, did you even notice?  I have 23 years of MOM.  How many do you have?  Are you keeping track?  I think we all should!

My family has come to that fork in the road.  The road to no return.  The road where the kids start to leave home.  The dynamics have changed, our little family will never be the same.  I feel melancholy.  In a few short years the Mom Tiff will be lost forever.  Don't get me wrong, I will always be a MOM, but this MOM will evolve.  It will take on a whole new dimension.  One with mother-in-law and grandma traits.  I wonder what that MOM will look like?  I have to admit, I'm grieving, but also a little curious and excited. 

I still want Molly to speak at my funeral.  She knows a Tiff that most of your will never know.  But I guarantee the Tiff back in college is still inside of me.  She has made me into the Tiff you see today.  I am here not to compromise my strengths or my abilities.  I am a MOM.  The best JOB in the whole world!

Love is in the air

LOVE is in the AIR~

In preparation for Valentines Day, I thought I would create a list of all the things I love.  Not in any order of course, because when you love something they are all at the top without preference.  The list goes like this:  "I LOVE"
a clean house, a comfy bed, delicious food, Lake Powell, hanging with friends, wake boarding, snowboarding, watching my girls dance, watching my boys play sports, my escalade, tv in bed, reading a good book, learning something new, making a quilt, finding solutions, giggles from my kids, kissing a boo boo better, snuggling my babies, playing board games, playing cards, making a new recipe, baking anything sweet, going on a date, working, the beach, my cabin, fishing with my dad, holding my grandma's hand, joking with my kids, watching my boys arm wrestle their dad, everything about my nephew/Asher,  taking my dog to the ditch, watching V.J. play college football, those corn dogs at the U games, Chai Tea, crab legs in Wendover, St. George with the Giles, Wicked,  LOVE in Vegas, staying with Johnny in Vegas, arts and crafts with the Mason girls, shopping in the Fashion District, sitting with our friends and family during a Bengal football game, shopping on Canal Street, riding the subway in NYC, planning a trip, buying presents,  and of course my family!

I love that Falisha is strong enough to beat out her addiction every day!  I love that she is a hard worker and fights for whats important.  I love the women she is growing into.  I love the way she dances when no one is watching but me.  I love her beauty.  I love to see her smile and giggle.  I love that she can't cook and asks me how to do it.  I love that she is pregnant with my grand baby.  My BFF!

I love that Jaden married a poly.  I love to talk about customs and culture with her. I love that I finally have someone who gets what I've been through! I love that she is so hard headed and strong willed like me.  I love that she is a get the job done right, kinda girl!  I love her determination.  I love her kind heart.  I love the way she sings when no one is listening and I love that she thinks it sounds professional.  Another BFF. I'm so lucky!

I love Simi for his shy, quite demeanor.  I love that he doesn't brag or boast.  I love that he leads FHE with the best stories and quotes ever.  I love that he still hugs his mom and holds the door open for her.  I love that he is a little confused about fashion.  I love when he dances even though he dances like his Grandpa Larry. (no groove whatsoever!)  I love it when he smiles and points at his mom from the football field! I love that he is going to beat his dad in an arm wrestle sooner rather than later. I love how he tries to hack my blog and edit it to say great things about himself like they are coming from me!

I love Jeremy even when he lies to me.  I love his laugh. Its deep and strong.  I love how he tries hard to get me to bend the rules and I love how he keeps his room so disorganized.  I love that he showers everyday at least once, sometimes twice and always looks good.  I love how he can pick out an outfit by himself.  I love the way he tries so hard- even though its just his kind of trying.  I love how confident he is.  I love that he is so outgoing.  I love his dance moves.  I love him and all his quirks because he is just like his dad.

I love Simon because he puts up with me.  I love that he rubs my back almost every night.  I love that he still cuddles me.  I love that he wipes away my tears when I have a bad day.  I love his milk chocolatey good looks.  I love that he went to every dance competition that our girls were ever in and cheered just as loud as the moms.  I love that he coached the boys sports and never gave our boys special treatment.  I love that he works out with the boys and shops for the girls.  I love that he still takes me on dates and vacations.  I love it when he break dances and tries to spin on his back with his windbreaker on.  I love it when he goes to visit his mom.  I love that his arms are to big to put his collar down every morning.  I love that he provides for his family.  I love his kisses. I love that he loves my cooking.

WOW!  This was such a great exercise for me!  I realized that I LOVE a ton of things!  I have so much to be HAPPY about!  This week I encourage you all to write down the things you love the most, you'll find- just like I did, how great your life is!

Laugh at Yourself

Don't you hate those moments in your life that you have no choice but to share with those around you for the sheer fact that they were there?  You know the moments I'm talking about.  Those ones that happened in a moment of weakness, shame, stupidity, or just dumb luck.  As soon as it happens you wish you were alone in a quite room, or that you died on the spot of sheer embarrassment just so you wouldn't have to face them again.  We've all had more than a few of these moments in our lives.  It's times like this that define us.  We either stick our head in the sand and hide or hold our head high and laugh with those around us.

When I was working at the University of Utah division of Continuing Education I shared a "Moment" with a male co-worker.  I was pregnant.  Not just barely pregnant, but going to pop pregnant!  The bathroom was on the main floor, thus, I waddled down stairs past multiple offices to use the bathroom.  I was wearing this paisley brown and cream dress with pregnancy nylons to help with the swelling of my obese butt and thighs.  On the long trek back to my office, I said hello to many people.  I shared my office with 2 other men, one of which his desk was directly behind mine.  At some point during the morning I dropped something under my desk.  I rolled out of my chair and got to all fours with my bum sticking in the direction of my co-worker.  As I retrieved the fallen item and stood up, he politely told me that my dress what tucked up into my nylons.  Red faced I managed a stifled gulp of air, pulled my dress out as my co-worker said with a giggle, "That was not a view I wanted to see!"  UGGH!  I was mortified!  I just wanted to bust out in tears!  I was fat and I knew it, but geez... that comment was horrifying!  I'll never forget it!  I managed to laugh with him, but deep inside I thought I would break.  As I look back at that moment I think I can actually laugh at myself!  I admit it must have been a pretty funny site.  And I can't believe I waddled around the Annex building with my butt hanging out the whole morning!  (the picture is old and blurry but that's the dress and the beginning of the belly!)

Or what about the time I was taking a break in my Grandma Dorothy's office (again in the Annex building of U of U).  I had a double action breast pump to really get the job done fast!  In a rush of business in walked the Dean!  My sweet Grandma made mention that I was pumping so that he turned and made notice of my, location, position and the quite hum of the pump.  All the while milk is squirting into two bottles!  What the HECK was I supposed to do?  Unlatch and cover up?  Another shameful moment frozen in time!  This time I pretended like it didn't bother me one bit.  Just smiled, and kept on to my business.  It seemed like it didn't faze him at all, like it was a normal occurrence to walk in on women pumping during a break.  In his busy life he probably didn't put one more thought into it, while I have been ruminating on it for 20+ years!  The key is to act like it didn't faze you....

Like me, I know there are a few of you that have had bathroom accidents.  Don't worry it happens to the best of us!  (Notice I am leaving names out to protect the innocent)  Maybe its inherited, but in my family I have had a parent stop on the way home from work to use someones bathroom, only to find the door locked, so they resorted to pooping in the backyard rose garden.  I also had a grandparent pee in a tupperware during rush hour morning traffic on the way to work.  I had a family member poop their pants at the top of bell canyon, leaving clothing in the bushes and finishing the hike while washing up in the drinking fountain at the mouth of the hike. *Note to friends- don't drink out of the fountain! Our kids empty the garbage on occasion to exclaim, "who's poopy underware are in the garbage can?"  Another family member was taking a boat ride only to get sick, puke overboard as pee was running down their legs.  They promptly squatted as to not bring too much unnecessary attention to the moment.   And most recently I had a family member say, "I just took a step and out it came? IDK what happend, I'm so confused?"  All of these moments are better shared with  loved ones.  Don't be fooled, we love to laugh with them but there is a fair amount of teasing that goes along with that!  These are moments that everyone treasures.  They will never be forgotten because we share them together.

I think the point of this weeks note is to laugh alongside our friends and family not always at them.  And definitely learn to laugh at yourself!  It will burn those lasting moments in your memory to enjoy over and over again especially when shared with those you love! 

Vacations

Family time is the most important time in the world!  Nothing else matters when you are spending time with those you love.  We especially love going places with our kids.  In the 23 years that we've been married we have been lucky enough to visit places all over the world.  We have enjoyed places like, Florida, Cabo, New York City, Washington D.C., Ohio, DisneyLand, Vegas, San Francisco, Hawaii, Lake Powell St. George and Tonga.  Some of these places are closer to home than others but the outcome is always the same.  SUPER FANTASTIC FUN!

Our many day trips to NYC always promised grand subway stories to tell on our return.  Like the time when we took a total of 10 people and mustered the courage to use the subway with the crew.  Of course we didn't loose a kid but we did loose my dad's wife!  That was a funny story!  Or what about the time when a homeless fellow drug his entire home in a bag onto the subway and shared a pole with Falisha?  He proceeded to do his morning stretches, toe touches and all.  The stench was incredible!  I truly didn't know humans could smell that bad!  Falisha's eyes got as big a saucers and I can't believe she didn't vomit!  The fellow topped off our subway ride with the the little amount of water he had left in his bottle.  I thought he was going to be friendly and wash the windows but I was wrong.  He decided to bathe himself!  Falisha can always say she shared a pole and a shower with a homeless man! (And kept it together!) lol  Jaden feel asleep on a man with turrets.  (Maybe that was foreshadowing her future roommate in college)  The best by far was the toothless lady who gummed her watermelon all the way from Fulton Street to JFK and then used the tissue from her front zipper on her pants to wipe her face when she was done.

By far the one place that has the most memories and the one place we would all vote to go over and over is Lake Powell.   Lake Powell has been a place where we all can play in the sand, wake board, tube, catch critters of all kinds, sunbath, sight see, play games and just laugh all day long!  There is no other place on earth I'd rather be with my family.  This is the place that we have all caught a fish or two, tied a milk jug onto a carp, lost a game or two at cards, danced, ate yummy food, learned to jump a wake, hold onto a tube like our life depended on it, had the wind whipping our face and sun burns for days!  Simon has been caught trying to wake board off the second level of the houseboat, skinny dipping in the dark with his wife and a life jacket, winning at poker, loosing at poker, and jumping out of the boat going 40 MPH with a life jacket and his legs crossed.  Jaden has visited the emergency room for stitches, spent time quarantined in a bedroom for the 24hr flu, learned to wake board and successfully landed onto a tube as the boat passes by going 20 MPH.  Falisha has also landed the tube as the boat passes by at 20 MPH.  Well, if you count landing and gracefully rolling off the tube all in one motion.  Falisha will also play card games in Lake Powell and no where else.   Simi has also been to the emergency room for a ruptured eardrum while in lake Powell.  The Dr. on duty gave him something so strong he honestly thought he could catch fish from the air!  We laughed at the time even though it really wasn't funny.  Simi usually has a snake wrapped around his neck at some point during the trip.  Jeremy is the youngest Fehoko to be on the lake.  He started going when he was just a newborn.  He was trained to not cry or whine, where a life jacket at all times and be a big boy while at Lake Powell.  He is the best surfer in the group and likes to fish a lot while there!  Tiff usually just runs around all day with the camera and smiles! 

Family vacations are a time for the Fehokos to do things together that we normally don't do.  We love spending time with family and friends making memories that last a lifetime.  Our family vacations have defined us, made us stronger and brought us together.

Whether you take you kids to a hotel down the street or a hotel across the country, time spent away from the demands of life can be rewarding and valuable.  They have brought the Fehoko's such joy over the years.  We encourage everyone to spend time away with FAMILY!