My Mother

This weeks blog is dedicated to my Mother.  

Shelley Joette Anderson 1951-2009

My mother was an only child and her parents divorced when she was in the third grade.  She used to tell me stories how she would come home from school and play/watch herself until her parents would get home from work.  I guess no one thought this was strange for a young child to be alone for hours on end back in those days?  The friends that she made, she kept.  She was extremely loyal.  She married my father in 1969 and I was born in 1970.

My memories of childhood with my mom are precious.  My earliest memory is around 4 years old.  She was in the family room with curlers in her hair sitting on the floor with my baby brother.  She told me that the Mole Men wanted to play with me.  I promptly hid my eyes and I heard a rubber bouncy ball ricochet off the walls in the room.  I would then proceed to find the bouncy ball that the Mole Men were hiding.  Your probably wondering why "Mole Men" were playing with me and not fairies and princesses?  Well, that's because my mom was a horror movie lover!  I can remember watching Rosemary's Baby in black and white, Werewolf in London, Exorcist and many more, cuddled up on the couch with popcorn popped on the stove-top and my Mommy.  My favorite time was story time.  Everyday she would roll up her hair with curlers and I would sit on the toilet listening to her crazy scary stories.  "The Thump and Whistler", "The Golden Ball" (starring the King of the Mole Men) etc...  It's a wonder why I never had nightmares?

In elementary when little girls were out with their lemonade stands, I was charging kids to come see my Museum.  I had rocks, gemstones, Indian moccasins, pottery, etc..  Most things were given to me by my Grandfather Glenn Anderson. (My Mom's Dad)  My mom was so helpful.  She helped set up and organize the museum, helped me make invitations to pass out.  She was very much a part of my Museum day!  Then when I went into business selling worms, she was the one to pick them out and put them in a cup to buyers while I was away at school. An what about my parties?  Birthday party- no problem!  Cakes that would put any baker out of business.  I had the most elaborate cakes in the neighborhood!  And you would never dream of coming to my party and not play games!  She would have game after game with prizes for my friends!  Bubblegum unwrapping with socks and blowing bubbles was one of my all time favorites.  She also did beans on a knife and dropping them into mason jars, and what about passing oranges under your chin to your neighbor?  All extremely fun party games!  Every year we hosted a huge and I mean HUGE out of school party!  She orchestrated the entire event.  Handmade invitations went out to all the neighborhood kids with food assignments.  There were backyard games, food, and you won't believe this?  Everyone got to sleepover!  Boys and girls would bring their sleeping bags and everyone would sleep under the stars in my backyard!  This was a big success and made me very popular with all the neighborhood kids.  Everyone wanted an invite to this event and I can assure you no one was left out!  She always included everyone!

The year I turned 16 things started getting weird with my Mom.  Her mother died in February and her dad died in July I think?  She became increasingly depressed.  She quit her job as a teaching assistant in a local elementary.  She slept more frequently and the parties pretty much all but stopped.  The last one I remember was a makeup party to teach all my friends about putting on makeup.

By the time I got married, she was in bad shape.  There were days she wouldn't get out of bed at all.  I wrote a paper in college about my mom and how worried I was about her deep dark depression.  My dad made her read it.  She hardly acknowledged it.

My parents got divorced when my brother graduated high school.  This was a planned event on her part and we all knew it was coming for months.  Jeremy (my brother) graduated and lived with me and Simon for a time.

My Mom baby sat Falisha for one year.  At the end I would come home and find bumps and bruises on Falisha's where she went down the stairs in her walker, or off a step outside.  She loved Falisha and was a super proud Grandma but she just started not being able to watch a quickly growing toddler and the activity that Falisha required.

Things went from weird to strange and bizarre in a matter of a few years.  She went through a few marriages one to her estranged felon 2nd cousin. That's when Jeremy and I took matters into our own hands.

We lied to her to get her to go in to have a neurological DNA test done for Huntington's Disease.  We could practically manipulate her to do just about anything by now.  She was tested positive for Huntington's Disease and we promptly got custody of her through a court order.

Two weeks after Simi was born my Mom moved into my home.  We cared for her for 4 years.  Her mental and physical state diminished to the point that we decided to put her in a full time care facility.  She died 6 years later at the age of 57 with my brother and I holding her hands.

I'm so sad that my kids didn't get to know the Mom I did.  She was truly one of the greatest parts of my life!  She taught me so much about, love, loyalty, friendship, caring, patience and having fun! She was such an awesome person!  She inspired me to be the person I am today.  I believe she has watched over and protected my kids in times of great need.  Sometimes out of the blue I feel her near me.  I whisper to her in my prayers and tell her I miss her and Love her so very much.  She lives on inside me!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!  I Love you!