Monday, March 17, 2014
ME & HIM
Just got home from a 4 day vacation with the family. My newly married daughter Falisha came along. She was reading a book by Dr. Laura called "The Care and Feeding of Husbands". I mentioned that I would like to read it, so while she was napping I grabbed it and got to it.
As I started to read, I thought to myself, "After 23 years of marriage this book can't teach me a thing!" Ha- Well after a few chapters in- I was pleasantly surprised that I was right! It didn't teach me anything I didn't already know. What it did do, was give me a quick kick in the butt! It was a shocking reminder of the day to day rhythm we have moved into. The routine as you will. The get the kids to where they need to go with no quick kiss or even a have a good day. I'm sitting here just thinking- great... I gotta mix it up a bit, put my husband first again. Is that resentment I'm feeling? I was thinking our life was pretty good. But after a few chapters in, I'm rethinking that. Geez, and I'm feeling a bit foolish to be honest. I wonder, isn't this the cycle of marriage and kids? Fall in love, fall into a routine and live happily ever after? Apparently not! This marriage stuff takes WORK. It's a full time job. I was just getting settled into this job. Get the kids all grown up and slide into MYSELF. Time for ME! Well- didn't this book fall into my hands at just the right time? I've gotta get the hubby all buttered up for the next faze of life..."ME and HIM". The most important thing I read this week was "Women seem not to understand or underestimate the profound power they have over their husbands." I forgot all about this! I totally have the upper hand for my divine plan for "ME and HIM". I will get exactly what I want if I play my cards right.
This is what I was reminded of this week, from Dr. Laura:
1. Say "I love you" often and show it even more often. Hug, kiss, and hold hands.
2. Say "Thank you" for the things he does for you. Anywhere he takes you. Any gifts he gives you.
Any money he gives you - even if it's bill money. Show gratitude by saying thank you and acknowledging his effort.
4. Be kind and sweet. Never cut him down in front of people especially your children.
5. Think the best of him. Speak the best about him to others.
6. Allow him to do his job - Lead, Provide and Protect you in the best way he knows how.
7. Love him more than you love your children. Don't put your children in front of him in your life.
8. Stand by him when he disciplines your children.
9. Go to him for strength and let him come to you for comfort.
As you can see, I'm gonna be really super busy for the next little while! I've got to get a head start on a clean house, a yummy meal and a kiss at the door from his good looking wife! After all, my divine plan for Me and HIM just wouldn't be the same without HIM! If you see him smiling this week and his step a bit lighter- don't thank me, thank Dr. Laura!
As I started to read, I thought to myself, "After 23 years of marriage this book can't teach me a thing!" Ha- Well after a few chapters in- I was pleasantly surprised that I was right! It didn't teach me anything I didn't already know. What it did do, was give me a quick kick in the butt! It was a shocking reminder of the day to day rhythm we have moved into. The routine as you will. The get the kids to where they need to go with no quick kiss or even a have a good day. I'm sitting here just thinking- great... I gotta mix it up a bit, put my husband first again. Is that resentment I'm feeling? I was thinking our life was pretty good. But after a few chapters in, I'm rethinking that. Geez, and I'm feeling a bit foolish to be honest. I wonder, isn't this the cycle of marriage and kids? Fall in love, fall into a routine and live happily ever after? Apparently not! This marriage stuff takes WORK. It's a full time job. I was just getting settled into this job. Get the kids all grown up and slide into MYSELF. Time for ME! Well- didn't this book fall into my hands at just the right time? I've gotta get the hubby all buttered up for the next faze of life..."ME and HIM". The most important thing I read this week was "Women seem not to understand or underestimate the profound power they have over their husbands." I forgot all about this! I totally have the upper hand for my divine plan for "ME and HIM". I will get exactly what I want if I play my cards right.
Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99
Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/laura_schlessinger.html#pvq8bLAzWSdy2tGV.99
This is what I was reminded of this week, from Dr. Laura:1. Say "I love you" often and show it even more often. Hug, kiss, and hold hands.
2. Say "Thank you" for the things he does for you. Anywhere he takes you. Any gifts he gives you.
Any money he gives you - even if it's bill money. Show gratitude by saying thank you and acknowledging his effort.
4. Be kind and sweet. Never cut him down in front of people especially your children.
5. Think the best of him. Speak the best about him to others.
6. Allow him to do his job - Lead, Provide and Protect you in the best way he knows how.
7. Love him more than you love your children. Don't put your children in front of him in your life.
8. Stand by him when he disciplines your children.
9. Go to him for strength and let him come to you for comfort.
As you can see, I'm gonna be really super busy for the next little while! I've got to get a head start on a clean house, a yummy meal and a kiss at the door from his good looking wife! After all, my divine plan for Me and HIM just wouldn't be the same without HIM! If you see him smiling this week and his step a bit lighter- don't thank me, thank Dr. Laura!
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Love of FOOD
If you didn't already know by now- well let me tell you- Polynesians love food! This meant I needed to learn how to cook well and get the proportions down to a science. It would be an insult if we ran out of food during a family bbq! I've learned that Clam Chowder and salads won't do. One time Simon's dad asked, "Where's the meat?" Prompting a quick run to KFC. Thus, I mastered the cooking and the supply rather quickly. We have meat with every meal, and a lot of it. This goes along with rice, fruit and more rice. Having friends and family with an unending supply of food is nostalgic for me. I'm so lucky I had a good example growing up.
My love for good food shared with friends and family started in my childhood. My mom was an extremely great cook but didn't know the concept of small batches. Everything was made in ginormous quantities. With a small family of four a lot of food went to waste. Growing up, food at my house meant good times, good company and an unending supply! I fondly remember having my grandparents over one Sunday afternoon. My mother made banana splits. She brought out a plethora of toppings, flavors and fixings. It was better than any Baskin Robbins on the planet! Her supply of food and food options where nothing short of a buffet for every meal!
Simon used to travel a ton for business. Through out the years I have tagged along for extended business trips. It's a funny thing being married for so long. Your loves become those of your partner and vice versa. Our vacations have become a sort of Man vs. Food adventure. If any of you have vacationed with us you know this to be true. We do our research and find great food flares, gorging our selves to the point of elation. Most of the places we've visited we return to on subsequent visits but there are a few that we'd like to forget. My stomach wasn't born in Tonga. It's weaker and can't hold as much. But to give my stomach some credit it has only put a real damper on one extended business trip.
The next day the #1 priority was to eat a Beignet at Cafe Du Monde and a Muffuletta Sandwich anywhere they were served. Breakfast was a hit. Of course we didn't just eat one Beignet, but an entire bag! They were delicious and melted in your mouth. We did some sight seeing and then found a "Muff" sandwich, which the locals so lovingly have nicknamed. We shared a traditional style Muff, large, round, and somewhat flattened loaf with a sturdy texture, around 10 inches across and covered with layers of marinated olive salad, mordella salami, mozzarella, ham and provolone. Upon our return to the hotel, my stomach was a bit queasy. I took some pepto and laid down for a nap. We woke up to the throngs of loud music and fun radiating from Bourbon Street! I couldn't wait to go out and squeeze into the culture for a second night. My weakened stomach was not about to stop me. We dressed and skipped out and entered Bourbon. I no sooner put two steps on the sidewalk and I ran over to the gutter and knelled down to vomit. As I was retching my guts out- the Muff sandwich not agreeing with me, I vaguely heard passerby's with comments of educated sympathy, offering my husband pity for his drunk companion. No one came to my rescue that night with a rub on the back or to hold my hair from my face. I stood up whipped the tears from my eyes and the spittle from my mouth turned around and said to my husband, "Why didn't you take a picture? I just puked my guts up on Bourbon street!" He couldn't hold in the laughter and said, "Hun, you fit right in with the locals tonight. Everyone thinks your a drunk!" We giggled together, our steps light, held hands and wound our way down the street with the costume clad crazies that night. I think it's safe to say to all my friends and family, Don't eat a Muff sandwich- it's just not safe! :)
This week we are headed to Vegas. We will frequent the deep fried Twinkies and Oreos on Freemont Street and maybe our friend Johnny will find us a new place to try? I'll pack the pepto just in case!
Monday, February 24, 2014
I am a MOM
The question this week is, What to write about? Sometimes I feel like all of my secrets are already told, that what I have to say is done, my story is complete. People know who I am and what I stand for. I have told the world who I am and made my mark. Others would argue that I'm still young I have many more stories to tell, so much more to give the world and so many more adventures to have. I might agree.
Last week Simon and I drove down to St. George for a much needed vaca from the rigors of life. On the way down I was in contact with my college roommate, Molly. We were planning a lunch date. Along the drive I started thinking about all the fun adventures Molly and I had. It was like a picture book in my mind, flashing through all the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly behavior we college kids like to strum up. A thought came to me that Molly knew me like no one else on this earth. She knows the care free, non responsible, lie to your employer to skip a day of work kind of Tiffany. She knows the sneak a boy in your room, stay up all night, party a little, do a little homework and spend all of your hard earned money in Vegas kind off Tiffany. I thought to myself, I want Molly to speak at my funeral, she really knows me.
During lunch I mentioned this to Molly. I didn't want to sound morbid, but tried to explain it the best I could. Molly's reply was, "but I don't know you as a Mom". There was a long period of time when we lost touch because lets face it, being a Mom is down right hard work. We don't have much time for friends, let alone yourself.
This got me thinking of all the Tiffany's I've been. The kid, the college student, the wife, the mom, the employee, the employer, the CFFO (chief Fehoko financial officer), the disciplinary, the crazy, the humble, the repentant, the meek, the forgiving, the obnoxious, the depressed, the caregiver, the loud, the FUN, the adventurous and the list goes on. With all of these Tiff's running around it's a no wonder why I sometimes feel like I'm lost.
By far my favorite Tiff is Mom. That's the one "Tiff" that I feel most alive. I have to admit that sometimes I feel lost in this Tiff. I find myself floundering at times and at other times I'm just plain drowning. Somehow I always find my way to the shore. Usually, I'm standing there by myself and wiping off the tears of failure, but knowing deep down inside I must keep working! I think I'm pretty darn good at it. Sure I make mistakes, sure I don't do it like everyone else, but in the end, it's my JOB- and no one else will do it for me.
I've officially been a Mom longer than any other "Tiff" Most people don't even notice it. We are all so caught up with our age that we fail to notice the significance. When the clock tips and you have more years of being a mom than any other time in your life, did you even notice? I have 23 years of MOM. How many do you have? Are you keeping track? I think we all should!
My family has come to that fork in the road. The road to no return. The road where the kids start to leave home. The dynamics have changed, our little family will never be the same. I feel melancholy. In a few short years the Mom Tiff will be lost forever. Don't get me wrong, I will always be a MOM, but this MOM will evolve. It will take on a whole new dimension. One with mother-in-law and grandma traits. I wonder what that MOM will look like? I have to admit, I'm grieving, but also a little curious and excited.
I still want Molly to speak at my funeral. She knows a Tiff that most of your will never know. But I guarantee the Tiff back in college is still inside of me. She has made me into the Tiff you see today. I am here not to compromise my strengths or my abilities. I am a MOM. The best JOB in the whole world!
Last week Simon and I drove down to St. George for a much needed vaca from the rigors of life. On the way down I was in contact with my college roommate, Molly. We were planning a lunch date. Along the drive I started thinking about all the fun adventures Molly and I had. It was like a picture book in my mind, flashing through all the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly behavior we college kids like to strum up. A thought came to me that Molly knew me like no one else on this earth. She knows the care free, non responsible, lie to your employer to skip a day of work kind of Tiffany. She knows the sneak a boy in your room, stay up all night, party a little, do a little homework and spend all of your hard earned money in Vegas kind off Tiffany. I thought to myself, I want Molly to speak at my funeral, she really knows me.
During lunch I mentioned this to Molly. I didn't want to sound morbid, but tried to explain it the best I could. Molly's reply was, "but I don't know you as a Mom". There was a long period of time when we lost touch because lets face it, being a Mom is down right hard work. We don't have much time for friends, let alone yourself.
This got me thinking of all the Tiffany's I've been. The kid, the college student, the wife, the mom, the employee, the employer, the CFFO (chief Fehoko financial officer), the disciplinary, the crazy, the humble, the repentant, the meek, the forgiving, the obnoxious, the depressed, the caregiver, the loud, the FUN, the adventurous and the list goes on. With all of these Tiff's running around it's a no wonder why I sometimes feel like I'm lost.
By far my favorite Tiff is Mom. That's the one "Tiff" that I feel most alive. I have to admit that sometimes I feel lost in this Tiff. I find myself floundering at times and at other times I'm just plain drowning. Somehow I always find my way to the shore. Usually, I'm standing there by myself and wiping off the tears of failure, but knowing deep down inside I must keep working! I think I'm pretty darn good at it. Sure I make mistakes, sure I don't do it like everyone else, but in the end, it's my JOB- and no one else will do it for me.I've officially been a Mom longer than any other "Tiff" Most people don't even notice it. We are all so caught up with our age that we fail to notice the significance. When the clock tips and you have more years of being a mom than any other time in your life, did you even notice? I have 23 years of MOM. How many do you have? Are you keeping track? I think we all should!
My family has come to that fork in the road. The road to no return. The road where the kids start to leave home. The dynamics have changed, our little family will never be the same. I feel melancholy. In a few short years the Mom Tiff will be lost forever. Don't get me wrong, I will always be a MOM, but this MOM will evolve. It will take on a whole new dimension. One with mother-in-law and grandma traits. I wonder what that MOM will look like? I have to admit, I'm grieving, but also a little curious and excited.
I still want Molly to speak at my funeral. She knows a Tiff that most of your will never know. But I guarantee the Tiff back in college is still inside of me. She has made me into the Tiff you see today. I am here not to compromise my strengths or my abilities. I am a MOM. The best JOB in the whole world!
Monday, February 10, 2014
Love is in the air
LOVE is in the AIR~
In preparation for Valentines Day, I thought I would create a list of all the things I love. Not in any order of course, because when you love something they are all at the top without preference. The list goes like this: "I LOVE"
a clean house, a comfy bed, delicious food, Lake Powell, hanging with friends, wake boarding, snowboarding, watching my girls dance, watching my boys play sports, my escalade, tv in bed, reading a good book, learning something new, making a quilt, finding solutions, giggles from my kids, kissing a boo boo better, snuggling my babies, playing board games, playing cards, making a new recipe, baking anything sweet, going on a date, working, the beach, my cabin, fishing with my dad, holding my grandma's hand, joking with my kids, watching my boys arm wrestle their dad, everything about my nephew/Asher, taking my dog to the ditch, watching V.J. play college football, those corn dogs at the U games, Chai Tea, crab legs in Wendover, St. George with the Giles, Wicked, LOVE in Vegas, staying with Johnny in Vegas, arts and crafts with the Mason girls, shopping in the Fashion District, sitting with our friends and family during a Bengal football game, shopping on Canal Street, riding the subway in NYC, planning a trip, buying presents, and of course my family!
I love that Falisha is strong enough to beat out her addiction every day! I love that she is a hard worker and fights for whats important. I love the women she is growing into. I love the way she dances when no one is watching but me. I love her beauty. I love to see her smile and giggle. I love that she can't cook and asks me how to do it. I love that she is pregnant with my grand baby. My BFF!
I love that Jaden married a poly. I love to talk about customs and culture with her. I love that I finally have someone who gets what I've been through! I love that she is so hard headed and strong willed like me. I love that she is a get the job done right, kinda girl! I love her determination. I love her kind heart. I love the way she sings when no one is listening and I love that she thinks it sounds professional. Another BFF. I'm so lucky!
I love Simi for his shy, quite demeanor. I love that he doesn't brag or boast. I love that he leads FHE with the best stories and quotes ever. I love that he still hugs his mom and holds the door open for her. I love that he is a little confused about fashion. I love when he dances even though he dances like his Grandpa Larry. (no groove whatsoever!) I love it when he smiles and points at his mom from the football field! I love that he is going to beat his dad in an arm wrestle sooner rather than later. I love how he tries to hack my blog and edit it to say great things about himself like they are coming from me!
I love Jeremy even when he lies to me. I love his laugh. Its deep and strong. I love how he tries hard to get me to bend the rules and I love how he keeps his room so disorganized. I love that he showers everyday at least once, sometimes twice and always looks good. I love how he can pick out an outfit by himself. I love the way he tries so hard- even though its just his kind of trying. I love how confident he is. I love that he is so outgoing. I love his dance moves. I love him and all his quirks because he is just like his dad.
I love Simon because he puts up with me. I love that he rubs my back almost every night. I love that he still cuddles me. I love that he wipes away my tears when I have a bad day. I love his milk chocolatey good looks. I love that he went to every dance competition that our girls were ever in and cheered just as loud as the moms. I love that he coached the boys sports and never gave our boys special treatment. I love that he works out with the boys and shops for the girls. I love that he still takes me on dates and vacations. I love it when he break dances and tries to spin on his back with his windbreaker on. I love it when he goes to visit his mom. I love that his arms are to big to put his collar down every morning. I love that he provides for his family. I love his kisses. I love that he loves my cooking.
WOW! This was such a great exercise for me! I realized that I LOVE a ton of things! I have so much to be HAPPY about! This week I encourage you all to write down the things you love the most, you'll find- just like I did, how great your life is!
In preparation for Valentines Day, I thought I would create a list of all the things I love. Not in any order of course, because when you love something they are all at the top without preference. The list goes like this: "I LOVE"
a clean house, a comfy bed, delicious food, Lake Powell, hanging with friends, wake boarding, snowboarding, watching my girls dance, watching my boys play sports, my escalade, tv in bed, reading a good book, learning something new, making a quilt, finding solutions, giggles from my kids, kissing a boo boo better, snuggling my babies, playing board games, playing cards, making a new recipe, baking anything sweet, going on a date, working, the beach, my cabin, fishing with my dad, holding my grandma's hand, joking with my kids, watching my boys arm wrestle their dad, everything about my nephew/Asher, taking my dog to the ditch, watching V.J. play college football, those corn dogs at the U games, Chai Tea, crab legs in Wendover, St. George with the Giles, Wicked, LOVE in Vegas, staying with Johnny in Vegas, arts and crafts with the Mason girls, shopping in the Fashion District, sitting with our friends and family during a Bengal football game, shopping on Canal Street, riding the subway in NYC, planning a trip, buying presents, and of course my family!
I love that Falisha is strong enough to beat out her addiction every day! I love that she is a hard worker and fights for whats important. I love the women she is growing into. I love the way she dances when no one is watching but me. I love her beauty. I love to see her smile and giggle. I love that she can't cook and asks me how to do it. I love that she is pregnant with my grand baby. My BFF!
I love that Jaden married a poly. I love to talk about customs and culture with her. I love that I finally have someone who gets what I've been through! I love that she is so hard headed and strong willed like me. I love that she is a get the job done right, kinda girl! I love her determination. I love her kind heart. I love the way she sings when no one is listening and I love that she thinks it sounds professional. Another BFF. I'm so lucky!
I love Simi for his shy, quite demeanor. I love that he doesn't brag or boast. I love that he leads FHE with the best stories and quotes ever. I love that he still hugs his mom and holds the door open for her. I love that he is a little confused about fashion. I love when he dances even though he dances like his Grandpa Larry. (no groove whatsoever!) I love it when he smiles and points at his mom from the football field! I love that he is going to beat his dad in an arm wrestle sooner rather than later. I love how he tries to hack my blog and edit it to say great things about himself like they are coming from me!
I love Jeremy even when he lies to me. I love his laugh. Its deep and strong. I love how he tries hard to get me to bend the rules and I love how he keeps his room so disorganized. I love that he showers everyday at least once, sometimes twice and always looks good. I love how he can pick out an outfit by himself. I love the way he tries so hard- even though its just his kind of trying. I love how confident he is. I love that he is so outgoing. I love his dance moves. I love him and all his quirks because he is just like his dad.
I love Simon because he puts up with me. I love that he rubs my back almost every night. I love that he still cuddles me. I love that he wipes away my tears when I have a bad day. I love his milk chocolatey good looks. I love that he went to every dance competition that our girls were ever in and cheered just as loud as the moms. I love that he coached the boys sports and never gave our boys special treatment. I love that he works out with the boys and shops for the girls. I love that he still takes me on dates and vacations. I love it when he break dances and tries to spin on his back with his windbreaker on. I love it when he goes to visit his mom. I love that his arms are to big to put his collar down every morning. I love that he provides for his family. I love his kisses. I love that he loves my cooking.
WOW! This was such a great exercise for me! I realized that I LOVE a ton of things! I have so much to be HAPPY about! This week I encourage you all to write down the things you love the most, you'll find- just like I did, how great your life is!
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Laugh at Yourself
Don't you hate those moments in your life that you have no choice but to share with those around you for the sheer fact that they were there? You know the moments I'm talking about. Those ones that happened in a moment of weakness, shame, stupidity, or just dumb luck. As soon as it happens you wish you were alone in a quite room, or that you died on the spot of sheer embarrassment just so you wouldn't have to face them again. We've all had more than a few of these moments in our lives. It's times like this that define us. We either stick our head in the sand and hide or hold our head high and laugh with those around us.
When I was working at the University of Utah division of Continuing Education I shared a "Moment" with a male co-worker. I was pregnant. Not just barely pregnant, but going to pop pregnant! The bathroom was on the main floor, thus, I waddled down stairs past multiple offices to use the bathroom. I was wearing this paisley brown and cream dress with pregnancy nylons to help with the swelling of my obese butt and thighs. On the long trek back to my office, I said hello to many people. I shared my office with 2 other men, one of which his desk was directly behind mine. At some point during the morning I dropped something under my desk. I rolled out of my chair and got to all fours with my bum sticking in the direction of my co-worker. As I retrieved the fallen item and stood up, he politely told me that my dress what tucked up into my nylons. Red faced I managed a stifled gulp of air, pulled my dress out as my co-worker said with a giggle, "That was not a view I wanted to see!" UGGH! I was mortified! I just wanted to bust out in tears! I was fat and I knew it, but geez... that comment was horrifying! I'll never forget it! I managed to laugh with him, but deep inside I thought I would break. As I look back at that moment I think I can actually laugh at myself! I admit it must have been a pretty funny site. And I can't believe I waddled around the Annex building with my butt hanging out the whole morning! (the picture is old and blurry but that's the dress and the beginning of the belly!)
Or what about the time I was taking a break in my Grandma Dorothy's office (again in the Annex building of U of U). I had a double action breast pump to really get the job done fast! In a rush of business in walked the Dean! My sweet Grandma made mention that I was pumping so that he turned and made notice of my, location, position and the quite hum of the pump. All the while milk is squirting into two bottles! What the HECK was I supposed to do? Unlatch and cover up? Another shameful moment frozen in time! This time I pretended like it didn't bother me one bit. Just smiled, and kept on to my business. It seemed like it didn't faze him at all, like it was a normal occurrence to walk in on women pumping during a break. In his busy life he probably didn't put one more thought into it, while I have been ruminating on it for 20+ years! The key is to act like it didn't faze you....
Like me, I know there are a few of you that have had bathroom accidents. Don't worry it happens to the best of us! (Notice I am leaving names out to protect the innocent) Maybe its inherited, but in my family I have had a parent stop on the way home from work to use someones bathroom, only to find the door locked, so they resorted to pooping in the backyard rose garden. I also had a grandparent pee in a tupperware during rush hour morning traffic on the way to work. I had a family member poop their pants at the top of bell canyon, leaving clothing in the bushes and finishing the hike while washing up in the drinking fountain at the mouth of the hike. *Note to friends- don't drink out of the fountain! Our kids empty the garbage on occasion to exclaim, "who's poopy underware are in the garbage can?" Another family member was taking a boat ride only to get sick, puke overboard as pee was running down their legs. They promptly squatted as to not bring too much unnecessary attention to the moment. And most recently I had a family member say, "I just took a step and out it came? IDK what happend, I'm so confused?" All of these moments are better shared with loved ones. Don't be fooled, we love to laugh with them but there is a fair amount of teasing that goes along with that! These are moments that everyone treasures. They will never be forgotten because we share them together.
I think the point of this weeks note is to laugh alongside our friends and family not always at them. And definitely learn to laugh at yourself! It will burn those lasting moments in your memory to enjoy over and over again especially when shared with those you love!
When I was working at the University of Utah division of Continuing Education I shared a "Moment" with a male co-worker. I was pregnant. Not just barely pregnant, but going to pop pregnant! The bathroom was on the main floor, thus, I waddled down stairs past multiple offices to use the bathroom. I was wearing this paisley brown and cream dress with pregnancy nylons to help with the swelling of my obese butt and thighs. On the long trek back to my office, I said hello to many people. I shared my office with 2 other men, one of which his desk was directly behind mine. At some point during the morning I dropped something under my desk. I rolled out of my chair and got to all fours with my bum sticking in the direction of my co-worker. As I retrieved the fallen item and stood up, he politely told me that my dress what tucked up into my nylons. Red faced I managed a stifled gulp of air, pulled my dress out as my co-worker said with a giggle, "That was not a view I wanted to see!" UGGH! I was mortified! I just wanted to bust out in tears! I was fat and I knew it, but geez... that comment was horrifying! I'll never forget it! I managed to laugh with him, but deep inside I thought I would break. As I look back at that moment I think I can actually laugh at myself! I admit it must have been a pretty funny site. And I can't believe I waddled around the Annex building with my butt hanging out the whole morning! (the picture is old and blurry but that's the dress and the beginning of the belly!)Or what about the time I was taking a break in my Grandma Dorothy's office (again in the Annex building of U of U). I had a double action breast pump to really get the job done fast! In a rush of business in walked the Dean! My sweet Grandma made mention that I was pumping so that he turned and made notice of my, location, position and the quite hum of the pump. All the while milk is squirting into two bottles! What the HECK was I supposed to do? Unlatch and cover up? Another shameful moment frozen in time! This time I pretended like it didn't bother me one bit. Just smiled, and kept on to my business. It seemed like it didn't faze him at all, like it was a normal occurrence to walk in on women pumping during a break. In his busy life he probably didn't put one more thought into it, while I have been ruminating on it for 20+ years! The key is to act like it didn't faze you....
Like me, I know there are a few of you that have had bathroom accidents. Don't worry it happens to the best of us! (Notice I am leaving names out to protect the innocent) Maybe its inherited, but in my family I have had a parent stop on the way home from work to use someones bathroom, only to find the door locked, so they resorted to pooping in the backyard rose garden. I also had a grandparent pee in a tupperware during rush hour morning traffic on the way to work. I had a family member poop their pants at the top of bell canyon, leaving clothing in the bushes and finishing the hike while washing up in the drinking fountain at the mouth of the hike. *Note to friends- don't drink out of the fountain! Our kids empty the garbage on occasion to exclaim, "who's poopy underware are in the garbage can?" Another family member was taking a boat ride only to get sick, puke overboard as pee was running down their legs. They promptly squatted as to not bring too much unnecessary attention to the moment. And most recently I had a family member say, "I just took a step and out it came? IDK what happend, I'm so confused?" All of these moments are better shared with loved ones. Don't be fooled, we love to laugh with them but there is a fair amount of teasing that goes along with that! These are moments that everyone treasures. They will never be forgotten because we share them together.
I think the point of this weeks note is to laugh alongside our friends and family not always at them. And definitely learn to laugh at yourself! It will burn those lasting moments in your memory to enjoy over and over again especially when shared with those you love!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Vacations
Family time is the most important time in the world! Nothing else matters when you are spending time with those you love. We especially love going places with our kids. In the 23 years that we've been married we have been lucky enough to visit places all over the world. We have enjoyed places like, Florida, Cabo, New York City, Washington D.C., Ohio, DisneyLand, Vegas, San Francisco, Hawaii, Lake Powell St. George and Tonga. Some of these places are closer to home than others but the outcome is always the same. SUPER FANTASTIC FUN!Our many day trips to NYC always promised grand subway stories to tell on our return. Like the time when we took a total of 10 people and mustered the courage to use the subway with the crew. Of course we didn't loose a kid but we did loose my dad's wife! That was a funny story! Or what about the time when a homeless fellow drug his entire home in a bag onto the subway and shared a pole with Falisha? He proceeded to do his morning stretches, toe touches and all. The stench was incredible! I truly didn't know humans could smell that bad! Falisha's eyes got as big a saucers and I can't believe she didn't vomit! The fellow topped off our subway ride with the the little amount of water he had left in his bottle. I thought he was going to be friendly and wash the windows but I was wrong. He decided to bathe himself! Falisha can always say she shared a pole and a shower with a homeless man! (And kept it together!) lol Jaden feel asleep on a man with turrets. (Maybe that was foreshadowing her future roommate in college) The best by far was the toothless lady who gummed her watermelon all the way from Fulton Street to JFK and then used the tissue from her front zipper on her pants to wipe her face when she was done.
By far the one place that has the most memories and the one place we would all vote to go over and over is Lake Powell.
Lake Powell has been a place where we all can play in the sand, wake board, tube, catch critters of all kinds, sunbath, sight see, play games and just laugh all day long! There is no other place on earth I'd rather be with my family. This is the place that we have all caught a fish or two, tied a milk jug onto a carp, lost a game or two at cards, danced, ate yummy food, learned to jump a wake, hold onto a tube like our life depended on it, had the wind whipping our face and sun burns for days! Simon has been caught trying to wake board off the second level of the houseboat, skinny dipping in the dark with his wife and a life jacket, winning at poker, loosing at poker, and jumping out of the boat going 40 MPH with a life jacket and his legs crossed. Jaden has visited the emergency room for stitches, spent time quarantined in a bedroom for the 24hr flu, learned to wake board and successfully landed onto a tube as the boat passes by going 20 MPH. Falisha has also landed the tube as the boat passes by at 20 MPH. Well, if you count landing and gracefully rolling off the tube all in one motion. Falisha will also play card games in Lake Powell and no where else. Simi has also been to the emergency room for a ruptured eardrum while in lake Powell. The Dr. on duty gave him something so strong he honestly thought he could catch fish from the air! We laughed at the time even though it really wasn't funny. Simi usually has a snake wrapped around his neck at some point during the trip. Jeremy is the youngest Fehoko to be on the lake. He started going when he was just a newborn. He was trained to not cry or whine, where a life jacket at all times and be a big boy while at Lake Powell. He is the best surfer in the group and likes to fish a lot while there! Tiff usually just runs around all day with the camera and smiles! 
Family vacations are a time for the Fehokos to do things together that we normally don't do. We love spending time with family and friends making memories that last a lifetime. Our family vacations have defined us, made us stronger and brought us together.Whether you take you kids to a hotel down the street or a hotel across the country, time spent away from the demands of life can be rewarding and valuable. They have brought the Fehoko's such joy over the years. We encourage everyone to spend time away with FAMILY!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)