Sacrafice for what matters most

As the Christmas season unfolds this year.  Our family has much to be grateful for.  We have been blessed beyond measure.

Early on in our marriage Simon and I decided to sacrifice much of what we were doing to follow Christ and his teachings.  This was much more difficult than we thought.  Why is it so easy to choose the wrong path and seems much more difficult to lead a path of righteousness?  It took us many years and many mistakes to come to where we are today.  Today I will only tell you of the right paths we took rather than all the forks in the road along the way.

First, we chose to teach our children of God the Eternal Father and in his Son, Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost.  This started out small, as in prayers to our Heavenly Father.  We sang songs of Jesus.  We went to church and taught our children of the importance of Baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  The Holy Ghost has been a comforter to me in times of great need and sorrow.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that it has whispered to my children and tried to lead them down the correct path.  I also know that the Holy Ghost has left us in time of contention or wrong doings and I have asked in fervent prayer for this gift to return to my home or be present in my children's hearts when they needed it the most.  I believe that this gift has protected my children when things could have been so much worse.  I don't doubt its power to protect us.

Second,  Simon and I chose to be Sealed for Time and All Eternity in the house of the Lord.  So many people don't realize what this means.  We made promises/covenants with the Lord to honor each other in every aspect of our lives.  This covenant means so much more when promised to God the Lord of all creation. By doing this the Lord as promised/covenanted with us to bless and protect us and our posterity.  I didn't really understand this until I had a child in great need of a multitude of blessings.  Only then, have I come to realize the power of the promise!  Because of my choices my children will forever be protected and blessed.  I have witnessed small and grand miracles in the face of adversity when it comes to my children.  You'll never understand this promise fully until such grave tragedy befalls your family and you witness the un-denying power of the Lord God reaching out his hand to lift you up. God's tender mercies have touched our lives and made us mighty in times of trial.

Lastly, we Love One Another.  We love as Jesus loves us.  Unconditionally, has been the hardest of all lessons for us.  We love each other in spite of our faults, our mistakes and our misgivings, because this is what Jesus has taught.  We truly love our friends, family, and neighbors.  We try to be kind to strangers.  We take pride in the world around us and the creatures that provide diversity to the earth.  Most importantly, we love Jesus Christ and all that he sacrificed for us.  Because of Christ my redeemer, I will be surround by the people I love through all Eternity.  I believe that when you love Jesus Christ and live his commandments you become a true follower of Christ. 

This year hosts of Angels have fought a war for my family.  I truly believe that the war isn't over- it didn't just begin either- but has been going on for decades.  This was just one of many battles that have been fought on my behalf.  My attitude changed this year when I finally decided that we matter, I matter.  We are all significant in the eyes of the Lord.  Legions of people before us want us to return to God.  It is our job to make and keep sacred covenants while on earth.  I have learned that I need to uphold my end of the bargain and be a leader in my own battles.  So many blessings were there for the taking, but I needed to ask of God.  It has taken me over 20 prideful years to finally get it!  It is soooo much easier to follow the commandments and follow the path of righteousness.  I receive more blessings than I can count.  I have an abundance in my life and my heart is full!  I love the Lord God with all my soul.  My heart is full this Christmas season.  It is a magnitude of gratitude!  My family is Blessed. 

Pet Lovers

Are you a pet lover?

As long as I can remember I have had a pet.  My favorite cat was a stray Siamese kitten that we named Simo.  The neighbor girl brought it home and her parents wouldn't let her keep it.  I gladly brought it to my house and the begging began.  To my surprise I was allowed to keep him.  It was the cuddliest blue-eyed cat ever!  A while later I brought another stray home.  My mom let me keep it temporarily, on condition my dad ok'ed it permanently.  The next morning after sleeping with it I awoke to find little bites all over my body.  I was told it was fleas.  Unfortunately, that cat didn't find a home with us.

My little brother had a thing for all living creatures, mostly reptiles.  I grew up holding, feeding and caring for multiple snakes, lizards, newts, tadpoles, frogs, salamanders, tarantulas, hamsters, and on occasion a baby bird of some kind.  Most of these creatures gave me the creeps.  But I was the big sister and tried hard to keep it cool.  One summer my brother collected black widow spiders in glass mason jars.  I'll never forget how the neighbor boy, Ricky Delray  screamed bloody murder when my brother dropped the glass jar and it shattered by our front door.  My Mom saved the day!  That day the spider found a quick death by foot stomping.

We had many a disastrous events with our pets.  One day we came home to a smoldering slow burning mattress in my brother's room.  The reptile light had inadvertently fell onto the mattress.  Luck we came home before the house was burned down!  My hamster turned out to be a mother to 3 cute little babies.  I adored them so much, I think we can safely safe I loved them to death!  They didn't last but a few days.  Then the mother hamster ate them!  I was scarred for life and never ever had another hamster again! 

While my brother was busy selling  reptiles to all the neighbor boys, I started my first business venture selling worms.  This became lucrative for a young kid.  I was able to buy all the candy I wanted and kept my fishing clientele happy.  My dad and I invented this really cool contraption out of hangers.  I still don't really understand the whole thing, but I do remember staking the grass with my cut hangers and wiring what I think was a extension cord, plugging it in and attaching it to my hangars.  The worms would get electrocuted and come out of the ground like magic!  I hand the biggest juiciest night crawlers in the neighborhood!  I loved those worms!

When I graduated high school I bought my first dog.  It was a cute little sheltie mix named Cajun.  That dog loved me and I loved him.  He drove around with me in my Suzuki Samuari with a bandana around his neck- long before it became cool to carry around your little blitzed out puppy.  Sadly, he was run over after I got married.

Then came the Dalmatian puppy named Dempsey.  That dog was so high strung!  After that dog there was a long dry spell.  We had babies and built a new house and I think we had a fish that ended up down the toilet.

The next dog was Mana the chocolate lab.  Best dog ever!!!  Except for his fetish for eating rocks!  One the second pricey surgery the doc came out with a rock and a racquet ball.  The dog would eat anything!  The third time it happened- sadly, Mana- "the best dog ever" ended up not being the best dog ever and ended up going to heaven.  All the kids cried and I shed a few tears too.

Right before I had my last baby we adopted a 5 year old Great Dane.  Her name was Little Bit, being she was the smallest from the litter.  Weighing in at 150 she was not very little.  She was a show dog and had won many awards before we got her.  Her temperament was mild and loving.  Her favorite thing was to sit on your lap or take naps with the baby boys.  She lived with us for seven years.  For a big dog she lived a long and very loved life.  Simon took her to the vet on her last day.  He called me on the way and said he couldn't do it because Little Bit was looking at him in the mirror.  It devasted us all.  Everyone of us cried big crocodile tears that day!  After this painful event we didn't get another pet for a very long time.

On Jaden's birthday she begged for a dog.  It had been five years since Little Bit.  Simon and I weren't ready for a dog so we bought her a kitten.  We thought Jaden would be tickled to death.  When we surprised her with the kitten she was upset that she didn't get a dog.  Birthday ruined-and cat banned from Jaden- it has forever slept with Simi her brother.  Poor Buddah Bella!

Three years ago we finally replaced our Little Bit with another Great Dane.  Harlo is a beautiful dog and Jaden was finally happy!  In fact the whole family has been fully and completely in love with her.  She loves to eat my banana bread off the counter and running at the ditch.  She is so thrilled when you come home and super happy when she is invited her to jump up on the bed and sleep on Simon's pillow!  hahah  Don't tell Simon- he HATES that!!

Pets have a special place in my heart and I hope that I have taught my kids to love and respect animals too.  They have taught me the pains of loss, the frustration of disappointment, the financial woes of responsibility, care giving and unconditional love.  Great learning lessons in life! 

Football FANS

I have never been one to love football!  In fact, one of the worst fights my husband and I have ever had was over football.

Once we were married we both worked extra hard to survive financially.  Simon worked detailing automobiles and I worked at the UofU as a secretary.  After a long days work I would be so excited to come home to spend time with my new husband and he would be so excited to come home and watch football!

One Saturday I had, had enough!  I went outside our little duplex, found the entry of the cable cord to our house and I cut it in half.  I was thinking that would get him to focus his attention on me for a change.  Well, I got his attention all right.  He freaked out!  Couldn't believe I would be so CRAZY as to cut the cable!  He stomped around, yelled a lot and the next thing I know he was packing his bags.  Yep, he left me for his mom's house that night.  I was devastated!  It took him 3 days to come back and of course by then the cable cord was restored.

During the first 7 years of our married life, Simon watched a lot of sports by himself.  We were lucky enough to have 2 girls first so they occupied my time and I really didn't care about the cable anymore.  Then the 2 boys were born and almost immediately he had football and basketballs in their hands.  It didn't take the boys long to be sitting on the couch watching sports with their dad.

Things changed for me when the boys started playing little league football.  I immediately found interest in something I can truly say- I hated before.  Football became my hobby.  I wanted to know what my boys were doing, why whistles were blowing, what the referees were doing waving their arms around and WHY all these parents were freaking out on the sidelines!   I found this pure joy in watching my little boys play football.  The elation when they ran the ball in for a touchdown or when they tackled someone or sacked the quarterback.  And What about the fear I felt when they were tackled so hard that coaches ran onto the field?  Or the excitement that I got when my boys put on their jerseys at the beginning of the season so I could take their pictures.  I loved the teaching moments I have had when my boys wanted to cry on the field when they made a mistake or worse when they lost a big game.  I was the one who said, "Cry in the car if you have to.  But never ever let the other team or your teammates see you cry!"  Begin team "Mom" was a fun job title- one I even have a trophy in my kitchen window for.

Little league is over.  This year my boys play high school football.  This is a whole new level of intensity for me.  More worry, more excitement and more joy!  Friday, my boys will play in the state championship game at the UofU's Rice Eccels Stadium on the turf!  I want to scream out loud- Can you believe it?  MY boys are playing ball in a college stadium!!!

Ask me if I am nervous?  My answer is, "No WAY!"   I'm not nervous- I am so dang proud!  I am sitting here typing with tears running down my cheeks.  What a monumental event for me as a Momma!  I get the opportunity to sit in the stands and cheer on my boys playing a sport that they love! I'll be the one you can hear yelling COMMMMON FEHOKOS!  I'll also be bundled up in blue and orange- their school colors!  I know their futures will be filled with many events like this, but these are the moments I want to freeze in time!

Don't tell Simon that I really don't love FOOTBALL!  I think, he thinks that he's converted me!  But who am I kidding?  I reaalllllly only CARE when I get to watch my BOYS and my nephew #52 at the U!! Other than that- you'll never catch me rushing to watch a game anywhere else!!

Dating in College

Let me give you a little dirt!

In College Simon had a whole book of come on lines.  IDK where he got them but they were gooooood.  There was one line I totally got suckered into.  I'm about to tell you his dirty little secret... Simon- "My parents will never let me marry you unless your pregnant!"  Me- "Why?"  Simon- "Because your white."  Unfreakin believable, right?  What a line!  I'm not gonna lie,  I was CUTE!  He wanted me something fierce to come up with that one! lol  But really? I was so DUMB to believe it!

3 months went by and I wasn't pregnant. And Trust me, it wasn't for lack of trying!  The end of the semester came to a close and we were headed back to SLC for the summer.  Simon told me his parents were going to ship him off to Tonga to get ready for a mission.  I found that awfully confusing, since we were not living a righteous lifestyle by any standards.  I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just tell his parents he didn't want to go on a mission and wanted to marry me.  It's been over 20 years and I'm still trying to figure out his Tongan culture.

Anyways- we packed our bags and caravan-ed up to SLC with my favorite roommate, Molly.  Molly and all our stuff was jammed into my Suzuki Samurai and the gold Honda.  Simon's rusted out Honda Civic made it to the exit of Redwood road and then died for good.  My dad came and helped tow his car to his house.  His family lived in a little dilapidated house on Lucy Ave., by the Bees stadium.  His parents were kind and thanked us for the help.  I went home to my family's house by Skyline High School with a pool and Millcreek stream flowing through the back yard.

It wasn't a week later that Simon told me he was moving to Reno to help his sister and work construction with his brother-in-law.  The day he left I went to Planned Parenthood and had a pregnancy test.  The result was positive.  I was shocked!  I muddled around with a college friend named Stacy for most of the afternoon and then started calling his sister's house in Reno.  I called a few times and left a message with his sister Loisi that it was super important that he call me-asap.

Late that evening he returned my call.  The conversation was brief and full of emotion.  I told Simon the news and his reply was only this, "I'm on my way home."  Loisi told me many years later that after that brief phone call he told her he was going back home.  She asked "Why?  You just got here and I need help with the kids."  His Tongan reply is translated as, "My heart hurts."

The next day we met for pizza.  I remember sitting across the red and white checkered tablecloth from him as he asked, "What do you want to do?"  Are you kidding?  I was screaming in my head, I thought this was the plan!  Instead, I smiled and said, "Get married, duh!" His answer was simply a huge smile and, "Then we'll get married!"   That little memory of my proposal is what I hold dear to my heart.

I can still see the fear in his eyes.  Fear of being a father, a husband and most of all, fear of telling his parents.  His parents thought I corrupted their son that was going on a mission.  I'll never tell them it was the other way around.  You know why?  Because I  feel the exact same way about Simon that they do.  He is my everything, he is perfect!  He is the greatest father.  He loves his kids with everything he has!  He is also an amazing husband!

Fakapale is what we both received when we decided to spend the rest of our lives together in that little pizza joint.  I can't imagine our lives any other way and wouldn't want anything different.  Well, I may have some doubts about the proposal, but nah- it wouldn't be as great of a story if it was all  fairy tales and roses- now would it? lol

Little League

When my oldest boy, Simi was 8 years old our neighbors the Ebelings kept telling us to sign him up for Brighton Little League Football.  We didn't know much about it and decided against it that year. The next year he was 9 and our youngest Jeremy was 8. We caved in and signed them up to play.

Boy! Was I in for a shock!  Brighton's Little League program was a very well oiled machine with lots of politics.  They had tryouts for these little kids and were told the "A" team was the team to be on.  Our oldest boy was a whole year stronger, bigger and faster than the younger one.  They selected him for the "A" team and put Jer on as a consolation because Simon offered to help coach. Didn't realize at the time that Simon would love coaching his boys so much that it would be years before I had his full attention during football season!
After football came Junior Jazz basketball.  Again Simon was coaching.  Spring Lacross tryouts were encouraged by some friends and we sadly found out Brighton didn't have a team.  So we headed out south and tried out for Alta's Lacross team.  The coach for Alta was amazing with Simi.  We made so many friends and played out there for 2 years until Brighton finally organized some teams.

By now Simon was coaching year round.  I was sadly last on the priority list.  Our boys were on Super League basketball teams during the winter, playing Brighton Lacross and Mecury Track during the spring and Brighton Football in the Fall. Murray Rugby replaced Lacross a few years later.  I quickly learned how fun sports were when you were cheering on your own kids!

When Simi was in 5th grade rumors started spreading during the football season that we were not in the boundaries for Brighton.  At the end of the season our neighbors down the street were kicked out of the program because of boundary issues.  We kept our head low and prayed that it would all get worked out.

That spring we were forced to play for either a boundary school or a private school.  The boys and Simon were heartbroken.  We contemplated pulling the boys out of sports until they could play with their friends.  We fought with the district almost winning a boundary dispute.  In the end we chose Juan Diego.  That Lacross season was one of new friends, new coaches and the wearing of Blue and White instead of Orange and Blue.

That year our new friends invited us to the annual Festival of Roses at Juan Diego.  What a awesome celebration and fundraising event for the Catholic School.  The Fehoko's were welcomed with open arms into this tight knit community and we felt loved.  Thankful we didn't give up sports!

Football season was approaching fast and the Fehoko's were excited to be a part of such a great athletic program.  The football program didn't know much about our boys except what they had heard from the coaches and friends from Lacross.  Simon interviewed and was chosen to be the assistant coach to Coach Hoffman and Coach Jesse.  The Fehokos aren't afraid to work  hard and they immediately started earning their keep.  Simi and Jeremy proved that they would be an important part of their teams and slowly earned the respect of teammates and coaches. This was a great year for Simi's team who hadn't won a game in 5 years.  The Fehoko's were commonly known as the Mormon boys who didn't swear.  This team said prayers at practice along with scripture thoughts given by selected boys but they all swore like sailors. lol  When it came to game time every player knelt in a circle and prayers and Hail Mary's were offered.  The first time Simi was asked to give a scripture and prayer he was so nervous but recited a Book of Mormon scripture to his Catholic teammates and then closed with a traditional LDS prayer.  What a significant learning experience for my young boy!

Under the direction of a great staff these boys played fantastic!  They ended up in the play off game against Tooele.  The head coach was out of town and Coach Simon and Coach Jesse lead these boys to a championship win!  I've never seen such gratitude, humility and joy in the faces of these boys!  Tears were shed from players and parents alike!  After five straight years of loosing  they finally went all the way to be the Champions in their division!  In my eyes there wasn't a young man there that didn't deserve it!  Simi lead the team in the traditional Haka after the game and Jer was the designated water boy (and handsome one at that!) since his team didn't make it to the playoffs. :)  A momentous day, for sure!

Our boys have been blessed beyond measure when it comes to significant individuals in their lives.  The friends they have made at all the different schools in the valley make it so fun to play any sport. There usually isn't a game that they don't have a friend on the opposing team. 

This year, both our boys are back at Brighton, where our boys like to call "home".  They again have to work hard for their place on the team.  These boys are blessed to have Coaches from all over the valley calling and giving them encouragement and platitudes this year.  Coach Hoffman even came to watch and support one of Simi's games this season.  What great influences and amazing friends we have made through sports.  Thank you to every single individual who have helped raise our boys into young men.  You have taught them ethics, hard work, team work, humbleness, tolerance, sportsmanship and above all to never give up!   Thank you for the Fakapale- Coaches and Friends!

Brown Skinned Boy

When I was a little girl my dad took me to a Bees game.  I don't think it was very entertaining because I don't remember much.  What I do remember is telling my dad that I thought the Black guy out on the field was super HOT!  I think I have such a vivid memory of this game because of the reaction I got from my father.  He was born in the 50's, raised in Tooele and a big country boy.  I never thought my dad was racist, just super opinionated when it came to people from origins other than America.  I always heard racial slurs, jokes and opinions about immigration in my home. Imagine his dismay when his cute little daughter thought black boys were good looking?  I'm pretty sure his reaction planted a seed somewhere in my subconscious.

I wasn't necessarily surround by ethnic kids growing up.   During high school I can only remember one kid that was black, and he was adopted for heck's sake!  For the record, I wasn't attracted to him.  He was a nerdy boy, super smart and wore really big glasses (pretty popular for the day).  I don't even remember if he played sports.  I think he was in the Drama Club?

I went away to Dixie College when I was 19.  I had worked a year out of high school and saved enough money to pay for my first semester of college by myself.  My dad said if I wanted to stay after the first semester he would pay for the remainder of college.  I moved into student housing across from campus.  Our complex was three stories, double sided.  I was on the middle floor on the right side, sharing our apartment with 6 girls.  Boys lived on the left side of the complex.  The bottom left side was inhabited by 5 brown skinned football players and one random white guy.  That apartment was always partying.  I didn't pay much attention to them until early December of that year.

Those boys only had one car between them and it was a gold, rusted out, two door Honda hatchback.  Those boys would pile up in that car.  I never could figure out how they all fit.  It was like a clown car at the circus.  I drove a pretty sporty Suzuki Samurai, white pin stripped, with my name hand painted on the driver's door.  Yes, I was spoiled!  In December, the brown skinned owner of that gold Honda  started asking me every time he saw me,  "When are you taking me out?"  With a huff of disgust I would reply, "When are YOU taking ME out?"  I had never been asked such a question.  And to imagine, Me taking out a boy?  I thought, "In his DREAMS!"  Well, he never stopped asking and it became a running joke.  My initial reaction turned to infatuation with his determination.  When ever he was with his friends he would ask the same question, my reply however, turned to, "Sure do LIKE YA!"  His friends would laugh, poke or slap him, and just tease him unrelentingly at my response.  

Returning from Christmas break, I was surprised to find this brown skinned boy sitting on the back row of my Vocabulary class.  After the first week of class he approached me with a proposition.  "The loser on the next vocab test takes the winner out to lunch."  I love a good bet, especially the ones I'm guaranteed to win.  I knew I was smarter and vowed to study my butt off.  The next day of class the scan trons were passed out.  The tests were taken and returned and I only missed one!  I was elated!  I turned around from the front row, looked over my shoulder to the boy in the back row and he held up his scan tron with 100% in big red marker and a huge smile on his face!

I regrettably took him to lunch and was immediately enamored! I called my dad and asked, "What would you think if I started dating a Tongan?"  With hesitation in his voice he said, "What's a Tongan?"  I giggled, knowing that seed planted long ago had just sprouted.

As parents we must protect our children but most of all teach tolerance and acceptance for the many cultures surrounding us.  Our world is fascinating just outside our front door and the amazing people, their diverse cultures and heritage can enhance your families lives and give them a Fakapale that will be a gift you will treasure your whole lives.

P.S. Simon cheated on the Vocab TEST!

Aunty

"Aunty"

When I was a little girl I would tell my mom that I was going to have 8 kids.  She only laughed at me. She must have had some psychic ability that knew I couldn't do it!  I yearned for a big family with lots of brothers and sisters.  My elementary friend had 7 kids and her mom just kept having babies.  It was so chaotic at their house, but it was also so much fun to be around all those kids.  I always wanted to play at her house.  It was dirty, loud, and crazy! 

Since my mother had Huntington's Disease this put a big damper on baby making in my family.  I was pregnant when I got married so I figured I better just keep having kids until I reached the age of thirty.  This wasn't an arbitrary age.  This was the age that I thought would be practical, because if I was tested positive then my youngest would be almost 10 years old before I became symptomatic.  I realize now this was super irresponsible.  What mother knowingly puts their children at risk for a deadly disease?  I'm blessed beyond measure that I don't have it.

My brother waited until after he was tested for Huntington's to start having children.  His results were also negative, so let the baby making begin, right?  Wrong, nothing happened.  Months turned into years and I remember telling my dad that I just didn't think they would ever have babies.  My dad was super sad and I was heart broken.  When my little nephew was born I cried.  Cried because it took so very long for him to get to this earth.  I was a 40 year old Aunty!  At that moment, life was complete.  As I held that little boy in my arms I felt an overwhelming feeling of complete joy!  I could see myself, and my mom in him.  Weird as that seems- There is something crazy special in that little boy! 

This summer I went to visit Jaden in Hawaii and was gone for 10 days.  You wouldn't believe it, but I started getting text messages every morning at 5:30 am and they didn't stop until he went to bed.  One day I counted and he messaged me 175 times!  I would get texts with hearts and smiley faces, videos claiming he loved me and pictures of what he was doing without me.  No one else,  not even my husband sent me texts like that!  I felt soo loved and missed, I couldn't wait to get back to him!  

It has almost been 4 years since that little guy has come into my life.  He and I have an unbreakable bond that would melt anyone's heart!  When we get together everything else in the world just fades away.  We belong together and that's just a matter of fact.  He recently told his mom, "Aunt Tiffany is my FAVORITE! more favorite than you!"  lol  I know he really doesn't love me more than his mom, but are you serious?  How can I not feel special!

What a reward/Fakapale he is in my life!