Love for Home

When you get off the plane to a vacation spot everything is magnified.  The colors, sounds, smells, and people all look so magnificent.  I especially love going to Hawaii.  The minute I step off the plane the air is warm and moist, the colors all seem brighter, and I can smell the flowers while walking down the outdoor corridor of the airport.  The people are all so friendly and smiling.  Everyone drives slower thus making me notice all the small things.  Maybe its the fact that I am on vacation, my watch doesn't mean anything to me and I can do whatever pleases me.  And it pleases me to enjoy the sights.  Even when I walk into the local Foodtown I notice the birds chirping.  Why is it that every place seems better than my own home?

I am lucky to have all my kids and their spouses home for a few weeks.  As I was planning for their arrival I started meal planning and picking all the hot spots to visit while they are here.  Funny, when you are trying to show off your home town all the places you take for granted all of a sudden become so important.  Today I took some time looking at all the mundane places I go everyday through the eyes of a visitor.

This morning I left for work at 6:30 am.  As I drove out of my neighborhood and headed east the sun was just peaking out over the mountain top.  This sunrise was nothing special because I see it almost every Friday.  The difference today was that I noticed it.  Really noticed it, like I notice the sunrise on vacation in Hawaii.   It was fascinating.  Sun rays blaring through the sky above the mountaintops. Looked like it was on fire with light.   This amazing view should be noticed by me more often.  I really should have taken the time to take a picture.

Harris and Jaden arrived home from Hawaii and the first thing they did was take in a deep breath and say "ahhh smells like America!"  Now I ask you, what exactly does America smell like?  In my home I smell a mixture of lingering scented candles, Downy and Febreze plug ins with a little undertone of dog and cat and sweaty boys.  Usually I don't notice this smell and often times wonder if my house smells funky to strangers.  But this smell is home to me.  I stuck my nose in a candle today to see if it still smells.  I think I am just used to the smell now because it didn't smell very strong.  I've decided this smell makes me happy.

I went to the grocery store across the street from my home today.  The birds that were housed in the overhang of the store were chirping so loud.  I don't think I have ever noticed this before.  But today I thought...  "Geez just like in Hawaii!" When I checked out the cashier was so friendly I felt like tipping her.  Is that inappropriate?  I actually knew a few of the bag boys and had a little conversation with them before I left.  I don't think I have ever stopped to think how lucky I am to have a nice local store within walking distance of my home with friendly people that I've know for years. 

Simi arrived home tonight after being away on a basketball tournament for a week.  I hopped in the car rolled the windows down put on my sunglasses and turned up the stereo.  I was in Simon's car so the Polynesian music with a hint of reggae was drumming out of the speakers.  I drove up to the high school with the warm air, music and beautiful mountains in my view.  My heart leaped a little, just like it does when I am on vacation.  I didn't have a care in the world, the sun was shinning the music was loud the view was breathtaking and the air smelled good!

My lawn is green with a row of weeds down one side that I can't seem to get rid of.  The enormous tree in my front yard needs to be trimmed and my flower beds are sparse.  My driveway is cracked and falling apart.  But everything is green and lush and it smells like home.  This evening I sat on my back porch and enjoyed the warm breeze and the sun shinning on my face.  I learned a great lesson today by opening up my heart and mind to my surroundings.With gratitude I thanked the Lord for the beautiful place I live in and the people I am surrounded by to enjoy it with.  I am truly blessed.

Have a lovely weekend peeps!

She Loves YOU the Most

18 months ago a very insightful therapist told me, "Do you know why she treats you so badly?" Since tears were running down my cheeks, I just shook my head back and forth in the typical "No" in response to the question. He replied, "Because she loves YOU the most."  That statement has stuck with me and frequents my thoughts on more occasions than most.

I often times think back on all the cruel harsh words that were said the battles that were never won and the tearful nights praying for my daughter.  Then those words come back to me, "She loves you the most" and I smile.

We mothers have such a thankless job. We are one of the only consistent most influential people in our children's lives.  I encourage you to never compromise your beliefs, values, integrity, or love when it comes to your children.   These are the unseen actions and unspoken words of a mother that never get noticed.  We should love our children no matter what they dish out to us.  Sometimes we are broken and imagine we can't possibly go on.  That's when I want to say to you my friends, "Its because they love you the most!"

Love isn't earned it's given freely.  When we love unconditionally, when our children are the ugliest to love, that's when I testify that miracles will abound.  Some miracles will be so small that you could possible miss them if you aren't paying attention. Open your heart and mind to the limitless possibilities of those words, "they love YOU the most!"

Sometimes I joke that I can hardly stand my kids while on earth why would I want to spend eternity with them?  Don't we all have those days?  But truly, I can't bare the thought of not being with my family for eternity.  Everyone holds there own beliefs.  These are the things that keep us going, right?  I am a supporter of individuality and would never want to offend my friends with my beliefs nor would I ever want someone to try and convenience me that my beliefs are wrong.  For me- I believe there is only one power on this earth that can bind families for the eternities.  I believe that this promise to seal families together can only be performed in the temple of our God by the proper authority.  This belief keeps me going.  It is what makes me treat my children with respect and love in all that I do.  It also make me stronger/firmer with my kids when I need to be.  Whether this is true for you or not, it's true for me. I am grateful for those who respect me enough to let me enjoy this life with my hopes, desires and beliefs.

 Life is often times so painful.  Trust me I've been there, done that and in my lifetime will probably do it again.  Just typing that brings tears to my eyes.  Why do we keep trying?  Why do we keep forgiving?  Why do we keep praying?   I'm pretty sure the reason is, "WE LOVE THEM the MOST!

This week is Falisha's celebration of 18 months clean and sober!  18 months WOW!  Something to be super proud of.   Who are you kidding?  I'm her MOM.  I always knew she could do it- because, "I Loved HER the MOST!" when I could have given up.

xoxo- to those 4 precious people I Love the MOST!