The drama began months before our special day. Simon and I were just finishing up our last semester at Dixie College and heading home. Once we were home Simon and I found out I was pregnant. My parents were invited to Simon's home for a dinner of Polynesian food. His parents were gracious and hospitable. The wedding plans were started that night and the decision was made to serve Polynesian food at the reception. Simon's parents were in charge of it all. Decorations, food, MC, band etc...
My husband and I had asked my bishop to marry us. He accepted and put the date on his calendar. I was really excited about this for many reasons. He spoke English, and it was really the only thing I felt truly in charge of. He explained to me what he would be saying and interviewed me about our courtship. I knew he would do a good job! We had three months of planning and preparation ahead of us. The bishop of my husbands Tongan ward requested a meeting with the two of us since we were getting married in his building. Now, I full expected this meeting to go great. Everyone thus far was super supportive of our upcoming wedding.
I remember being asked to enter his office and the battery of questions began. He asked why we were waiting for 3 months to get married. I tried to explain that it would take that much time to prepare for a wedding of this magnitude. I couldn't believe my ears when this bishop told us to hurry up and get married that week. For those of you who know me, I speak whats on my mind. I interrupted and said we didn't have a place to live. He snapped right back at me with the response, "You can live under a tree in the park!" I was so taken back.. He clearly didn't realize I was a white born and breed, spoiled American and there was no way I would be living in a park! I was totally dumbfounded and deeply offended. This whole time Simon just sat there looking at his hands and never uttering a word. It was years later that I understood the Polynesian cultural of "Respecting your Elders and those in Authority". I left this meeting in tears and Simon was trying to console me by saying, everything will be ok. I was mad that Simon didn't stick up for us. A few days later Simon informed me that his bishop would not allow my bishop to preside over the wedding since it was "HIS" building. When I found out I sat in my walk in closet and cried for hours by myself. I still think this was rather pompous! I'm still salty after 24 years.
My dad paid for our wedding. He never questioned the amount Simon's parents asked for and just kept writing checks. I love my dad for this! The only thing I remember my parents fighting over was the amount of money my mother spent on her own dress. My dad had good reason for this, her dress cost more than my wedding dress.
The night before our wedding Simon brought over blankets and mats with his parents, in the traditional Tongan style. They were beautiful! Simon also brought his belongings to my parents home. It was a small green ratty carry-on suitcase. That was everything he owned. I asked him if he wanted to stay and hang out, he said he had a lot of cooking to do with the fam.
The next morning my little brother had an early soccer game. My dad came home laughing and told me that one of the boys on the team went to a bachelor party the night before. The party was for some guy named Simon. Was this just a coincidence? I think not! I called Simon hurt and crying that he lied to me about the night before. I honestly can't even remember his lame excuse! But believe me it was lame! I told Simon he would be waiting a long time because I was NOT coming to the wedding!My Aunt Aneta was in town for my wedding and she was the only person in my home at the time really centered in love and Christ. She asked to pray with me that morning. I am so grateful she did this because I really needed it! It definitely calmed me down a bit, but again, I was pregnant and I was close to loosing my cool!
I was trying to stand my ground and "Show Him". Maybe show Simon or his bishop or whoever else got in my way. Ultimately my dad forced me to get in the car. We were fashionably late. Simon said he was really worried. Good! I hope he was!!
The whole reception was Polynesian. I wore the traditional dress like I was told, I ate the cake that was made by Simon's Aunty in California. We had a table full of cakes. This needs mentioning because it was fruit cake and hard as a rock as it traveled for days to make it to the wedding. I smiled graciously and tried my best to swallow it. When I was dancing on the stage I was told to stop dancing because of my condition.What topped the night off was; I left my purse with my wedding dress in the bathroom when I changed into the Tongan traditional clothing. When I changed out of it to the dress I was leaving in I cleaned up everything got in my purse and my only $20 bucks was stolen! Who steals from the BRIDE and leaves her broke on her wedding day? We did make some money with all the "fakapale" going on. So I think they stole the money out of my purse to give it back to me while I was dancing! uggh! Annoying!
I'm sure glad our wedding wasn't a foreshadowing of things to come or we would have never made it! Some things have never changed. Simon is still quietly respectful of his elders and authority. When he lies he still has Lame excuses and I still never remember them. When I'm super upset I still cry in my walk-in closet but Simon always come in and pulls me out and he still says, "everything will be ok!" The thing is- now He always stays to hang out and everything always turns out to be ok!
