TIMELINE

When my boys were little I would ask them everyday at nap time, "Do you want me to read a story, make up a story, or sing songs?"  They would choose something different each day.  Some days we would read some of our favorite stories like, How do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight, or Molly's Monsters, Good Night Moon, or even an I Spy book.  Other days we would sing songs like, Book of Mormon Stories, Twinkle Twinkle, Itsy Bitsy Spider or one of our family favorites The Cannibal King.  On occasion I would make up a story.  They loved these stories because they would never know what would come next and truthfully neither would I.  I would tell them tall tells of a Princess who lost her bouncy ball down a well that was full of trolls.  Or about a date gone a wire because the Thump and Whistler had just broken out of prison.  Or wild stories about fairies, and gnomes in the forest.  I inherited much of these stories from my mother.  I have fond memories of sitting on the toilet in the bathroom while she would set her hair in hot rollers and tell me wild tales of fairies, trolls, dragons and gnomes.

Each and every day after the story or song time I would rattle off a list of things the boys would get to do as they grew up.  It started like this; When you turn 4 you get to go to Challenger Preschool. When you turn 5 you get to go to Kindergarten. When you turn 8 you get to be Baptized and be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  When you turn 12 you get the Priesthood and get to pass the sacrament at our church.  When you turn 16 you get to drive and kiss girls.  (This always caused a fit of giggles!)  When you turn 18 you get to graduated from High School.  When your turn 19 you get to go on a LDS Mission. (This was long before the age change)  When you are 21 you get to go to college using your athletic scholarship. (Yes! We taught them young that mom and dad would only be paying for their sisters college and they would need to work hard to get scholarships!) Finally at age 25 they would be able to get married!  It didn't take them long to know what I would say next.  They started interrupting me and telling me what would happen next on the timeline.  This started out as a cute little ritual but as the boys have gotten older their dad has refereed to this as "Your Mom's Timeline".  I've heard many a talks with the boys that started out with, if you'll follow "Your Mom's Timeline" you will be...... 

How grateful I am to small and simple things.  If you asked me, "Did you plan this timeline out? Did you think about it before you presented it?"  The simple answer is, No.  It was a silly game that started a time line of events that we all started looking forward to.  The innocence of childhood and the joy of looking forward to something all brought this game to fruition.

Now, my oldest is looking forward to turning 16 in less than a month.  We were talking the other day and I asked him, "Have you kissed anyone yet?"  He answered me with a quirky smile of teeth and braces and the flush of red started up his neck. "No Mom!"  We giggled and laughed together!  He started cracking jokes and we were just enjoying the moment together!  How precious this moment was.  My 16 year old back in my room, just like at nap time.  When I brought up the "What happens when your 16"  I got the same response that I did when he was 4 years old.  When he left the room, my heart was overcome with joy.  My baby boy is growing up and I am the proud momma of this amazing kid!

My message to you this week is to start with small and simple things in your life.  As you follow your own timeline of events you will see the rewards or "FakaPale" in your own life unfold!

My LIFE

     Yes, I am a born and bred White, Salt Lake City, Mormon.   I went to Dixie State College where I met an amazing man!  I had never seen such beautiful golden brown skin and his dance moves were to die for! I married this Tongan who I lovingly call (Chocolate Thunder) 23 years ago.  I feel like I am the recipient of a Fakapale every day! (Tonga consists of 176 Polynesian island.)
     I can't say all 23 years were easy.  You would imagine that my family, a white middle class family would have a hard time accepting this Polynesian into the family.  But actually it was the Tongan side that had a hard time adjusting to this little white girl.  Shortly after we were married we had our first baby girl.  I didn't get to name her because it was the Tongan Family tradition to name our first child.  My husband and I threw in a middle name and called her that only to cause a dis-owning by my husbands mother for one year! 
     My husband and I worked hard for a year to be able to go the the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity.  After this event his family started coming around because they realized I was here to stay.  After 23 years I am proud to say that I have the best in laws ever!  Some of my very favorite people in this world are my sister-in-laws.
     My mother died at the age of 56, from the horrible Huntington Disease. (HD) is a neuro-degenerative genetic disorder that affects muscle coordination and leads to cognitive decline and psychiatric problems. It became apparent around my mothers 38th birthday that things were amiss.  My parents divorced and she ended up living in our home for us to care for her, for about 5 years.  With the birth of our two sons nearly 15 months apart and my mother moving in all at the same time, My husband was a gem!  In fact, my mother would do simple tasks for him that I struggled every day with.  He was so patient, kind and loving during this time in our lives.  During this time, I was also tested for this disease.  It was a DNA test taking 3 months, lots of counseling, neurologist appointments, praying and fasting.  The end results were negative.  Meaning that I did not carry the gene for (HD). YEA! My children would never inherit this gene!
     Life was pretty good until the summer of 2011. Our oldest daughter started staying at a girlfriends house pretty consistently.  Within 6 months we hardly ever saw her.  One Sunday afternoon her girlfriend's mother called me to tell me that my daughter was no longer welcome in her home and that she was sure she was doing Heroin. My husband and I staged an extraction.  We call it that because we physically had to remove her from her friends home.  When we brought her home, she was friendly and contrite.  Within a few hours things went from calm to chaos.  Words can't explain the frenzy that was driving her.  The entire family was involved in keeping her in the house.  Physical restraint from my big Polynesian husband almost wasn't enough.  It was sheer madness.  The next day as the withdrawal symptoms started, I crumbled to the ground in heart wrenching pleas to God to save my daughter from dying.  I watched my own mother pass away but to watch the withdrawal from Heroin and other drugs in my oldest's system were enough to tear my heart out.  I watched her go through seizures, spasms, vomiting and unconsciousness. Then I was the one who made the call to her sister who was in Hawaii attending BYUH.  That phone call was full of emotion and dread.  My younger daughter and I cried together, there wasn't much to talk about, just cry.   She ended up at University Neuropsychiatric ward (UNI). Then she did 3 months of out patient rehab. Her next step was off to school down south , only to go right back to where she started.  At Christmas time 2012 she checked herself into a 3 month in patient rehab. The holidays were melancholy.  Our younger daughter came home from Hawaii but we were missing an important part of our family.  Eventually she was permitted weekend visits which we all looked forward to.  Her sister from Hawaii decided to stay home for a semester and this was an important time for our family.  Today, our daughter is a recovering drug addict.  She has a super supportive boyfriend and family.  She knows to maintain her sobriety she must not do anything that will eventually lead her back to that place we all call Hell.  
     Our younger daughter finally went back to Hawaii.  She met a Samoan that she couldn't live without.  (This seems a little familiar)  What a wonderful journey she has made on the beautiful island of Ohau.  She has been blessed to perform in the night show at the PCC and met life long friends from all over the world who are now a part of our family!  This month she was sealed for time and all eternity in the SLC Temple.  This event was momentous for our family!  The wedding itself was full of traditions and food and more food!  This was the first grandchild to be married in the temple for my husband's family.  So, you can imagine how proud the family is!   She and her handsome husband live in Laie and attend BYUH.  She is learning how to be a wife, cook and CFO for her new family.  She is a great example to our family.
     We also have 2 boys Freshman and Sophomore in High School.  Both great athletes and very handsome young men.  You'll hear more about them in blogs to come!  Our family truely is blessed in more ways than we can even imagine.  Our Family is our FakaPale!  xoxo